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Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, and laptops. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v.4

Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, and laptops. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v. 4
Some people think that buying newly releasing electronic products irrespective of the price has a plethora of advantages while others opine that it is a worse thing. This essay will discuss both the arguments in detail and provide evidence as to why, over usage of gadgets adversely affect them as well as the society. On the one hand, addiction to anything will be a serious issue. In other words, one who spends a lot of time for browsing and surfing using mobile phones or laptop do not have enough time to socialise. Consequently, no one will come to help him in their difficult times. So we should have some restrictions, when using this type of devices. For instance, In my own experience, I strictly prohibited my children from using mobile and tablet. On the other hand, some people are compelled to use this device as a part of their job. In detail, a computer professional is always working on laptops and without that, they could not survive. So in some circumstances, it is inevitable for people to do their profession. For example, I have a friend who is an IT professional spends an average of 15 hours on the computer. In conclusion, despite some people are forced to use the computer for a long time as a part of their job, we should limit and prevent the extra usage that is so detrimental. So in my opinion, buying a myriad of gadgets have some advantages, but, disadvantages definitely outweigh its benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that buying
newly
releasing electronic products irrespective of the price has a plethora of advantages while others opine that it is a worse thing. This essay will discuss both the arguments in detail and provide evidence as to why, over usage of gadgets
adversely
affect them
as well
as the society.

On the one hand, addiction to anything will be a serious issue.
In other words
, one who spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for browsing and surfing using mobile phones or laptop do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
.
Consequently
, no one will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him in their difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions, when using this type of devices.
For instance
, In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, I
strictly
prohibited my children from using mobile and tablet.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are compelled
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this device as a part of their job. In detail, a computer professional is always working on laptops and without that, they could not survive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances, it is inevitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do their profession.
For example
, I have a friend who is an IT professional spends an average of 15 hours on the computer.

In conclusion
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as a part of their job, we should limit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the extra usage
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
detrimental.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my opinion, buying a myriad of gadgets
Possible agreement error
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, disadvantages definitely outweigh its benefits.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, and laptops. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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