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Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, and laptops. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v.2

Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, and laptops. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v. 2
It is a well known fact that due to the advancement in technology. In the modern era, most of the people like to buy new electronic gadgets such as mobile phones, laptops and so on. It has a positive development and I will discuss it and give my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark with, how it is a good thing, if people buy new gadgets. First and foremost point is it help in the study. In the modern era, education becomes more and more difficult to do, if the people have their own phone and laptop they can easily do study with the help of that thing because there are so many solutions are available on the internet with the help of that solution, people can easily solve their problems. Moreover, it also increases our bonding with relatives and friends because people can communicate with any person at any place and time with the help of voice call and text messages. Furthermore, mobile phones and laptops are also an entertainment source because of the YouTube, people can watch so many comedy videos with the help of watching that video the do laughing, with the help of launching they do face any kind of disease in their life. Last but not the least, the days, there are so many social media apps are available on the internet such as Instagram, Facebook, snapchat and so on, with the help of that apps people earn name and fame by uploading their photos and videos. To conclude, in my opinion, there are so many advantages of phones and laptops, but there are also some disadvantages, it depends on individuals how to use it.
It is a well known fact that due to the advancement in technology. In the modern era, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new electronic gadgets such as mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development and I will discuss it and give my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

To embark with, how it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new gadgets.
First
and foremost point is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in the study. In the modern era, education becomes more and more difficult to do, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
they can
easily
do study with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of that thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions are available on the internet with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of that solution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
solve their problems.
Moreover
, it
also
increases our bonding with relatives and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate with any person at any place and time with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of voice call and text messages.

Furthermore
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
are
also
an entertainment source
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the YouTube,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
comedy videos with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of watching that video the
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go laughing".
do laughing
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of launching they do face any kind of disease in their life. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the days, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social media apps are available on the internet such as Instagram, Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
snapchat
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of that apps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn name and fame by uploading their photos and videos.

To conclude
, in my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, it depends on individuals how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, and laptops. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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