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Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v.5

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v. 5
In many parts of the world today, especially in the developed nations, immigration has increased by leaps and bounds. This phenomenon of people moving from one country to another has an important effect on the society, at large. This essay will discuss about the main causes that motivate individuals to shift to a new nation and also bring to the fore the outcomes of immigration. Citizens of a nation choose to move to a new country because of a plethora of reasons. However, I would like to talk about two major reasons of immigration. Firstly, people prefer to immigrate in search of better growth opportunities as opposed to their homeland. Recent studies have shown that in Canada, better work culture and improved salary bands encourage immigrants from the Asian region to apply for the Permanent Residence status. Secondly, Marriage or love can be another major factor influencing individuals to leave behind their own country. In India, for example, most parents prefer to marry off their children to Non-Resident Indians. Due to these reasons, immigration statistics around the world has been on the rise. Whenever, people migrate to a different nation, it leads to a variety of outcomes like cultural diversity and economic growth. On one hand, countries like the USA, has introduced various laws to prevent cultural discrimination, thereby promoting unity in diversity. On the other hand, the economies of Japan and Netherlands have seen a massive improvement in per capita income due to immigration; otherwise, they would have continued to suffer due to an ageing population. To summarize, as the world has opened up to free-economy, knowledge transfer is inevitable and so is the movement of individuals, across the globe. With people embracing the concept of global citizenship, immigration will continue to influence the socio-cultural aspects of all nations, in times to come.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
especially
in the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
has increased by leaps and bounds. This phenomenon of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
effect on the society, at large. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
main causes that motivate individuals to shift to a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and
also
bring to the fore the outcomes of immigration.

Citizens of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a plethora of reasons.
However
, I would like to talk about two major reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to immigrate in search of better growth opportunities as opposed to their homeland. Recent studies have shown that in Canada, better work culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
salary bands encourage immigrants from the Asian region to apply for the Permanent Residence status.
Secondly
, Marriage or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
can be another major factor influencing individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
behind their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In India,
for example
, most parents prefer to marry off their children to Non-Resident Indians. Due to these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
statistics around the world has been on the rise.

Whenever,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, it leads to a variety of outcomes like cultural diversity and economic growth. On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the USA, has introduced various laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
cultural discrimination, thereby promoting unity in diversity.
On the other hand
, the economies of Japan and Netherlands have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a massive improvement in per capita income due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
;
otherwise
, they would have continued to suffer due to an
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population.

To summarize
, as the world has opened up to free-economy, knowledge transfer is inevitable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is the movement of individuals, across the globe. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
embracing the concept of global citizenship,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
will continue to influence the
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-cultural
aspects of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, in times to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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