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Some people agree that children should ask for parent's advice. Some Disagree. Discuss both views and share your own opinion. v.3

Some people agree that children should ask for parent's advice. Some Disagree. v. 3
Children need guidance of their parents but do they necessarily always look for advice from them? There is a varying opinion on this subject matter and this essay will discuss the issue from both sides. First of all, parents are the first teachers for the children and the most reliable ones. Moreover, they are selfless in the guidance they provide to their children. This often tempts children to approach them for their useful advice in a wide range of situations - from the simplest of act they perform to the most critical decisions they need to make in their life later. For instance, its common for children to ask their mother to advise them on what dress they should wear while going to a friend' s birthday party and to ask suggestions from their father on what major to study at college. Constant tutelage from the parents make young people feel safe about their choices, even though they might be circumspect at times. In contrary, there are some teenagers who are more daring and confident about themselves. This often makes them believe that the guidance from parents make them timid and limit their capabilities. These kinds of adolescents might go on to mature rather quickly and become self-dependent. Even recent studies suggest that young children who are disciplined but make right choices for themselves achieve greater success in life as it allows them to develop sophisticated social skills as well as problem solving ability in all situations. Personally, I believe parents should not become overprotective and require their children to ask them for advice on all little things they do in life. Every child is born unique and by doing certain activities his own way, he is more likely to explore his inborn qualities. Also, if a child seems to take a liking for a particular sports or genre of music, he should feel free to enjoy it because after all what music or game someone plays should be entirely his own decision. For example, a boy who has a natural talent for basketball might end up playing cricket if his father thinks it is better for him to carry on the family tradition. There are certain areas indeed where it' s not worth asking for intervention. In conclusion, children who are more likely to comply with what their parents suggest them to do make them feel good about the trust in their endorsement. on the other hand, there are others who feel making choices independently enable them to become unique and reach their true potential. Taking an advice from the parents but not feeling obliged to comply with each of them probably is a compromise that can encourage him from making mature but less vulnerable decisions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
need guidance of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do they
necessarily
always look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from them? There is a varying opinion on this
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
and this essay will discuss the issue from both sides.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
teachers for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the most reliable ones.
Moreover
, they are selfless in the guidance they provide to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tempts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to approach them for their useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
in a wide range of situations
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
from the simplest of act they perform to the most critical decisions they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
in their life later.
For instance
, its common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to ask their mother to advise them on what dress they should wear while going to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
friend&
#039; s birthday party and to ask suggestions from their father on what major to study at college. Constant tutelage from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
safe about their choices,
even though
they might be circumspect at times.

In contrary, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are more daring and confident about themselves. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them believe that the guidance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them timid and limit their capabilities. These kinds of adolescents might go on to mature
rather
quickly
and become self-dependent. Even recent studies suggest that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are disciplined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
right choices for themselves achieve greater success in life as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to develop sophisticated social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as problem solving ability in all situations.

Personally
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not become overprotective and require their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to ask them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
on all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
things they do in life. Every child
is born
unique and by doing certain activities his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way, he is more likely to explore his inborn qualities.
Also
, if a child seems to take a liking for a particular sports or genre of music, he should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
free to enjoy it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after all
what music or game someone plays should be
entirely
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision.
For example
, a boy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has a natural talent for basketball might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up playing cricket if his father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
it is better for him to carry on the family tradition. There are certain areas
indeed
where
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s not worth asking for intervention.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are more likely to comply with what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
suggest them to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
about the trust in their endorsement.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, there are others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
making choices
independently
enable them to become unique and reach their true potential. Taking an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not feeling obliged to comply with each of them
probably
is a compromise that can encourage him from making mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
less vulnerable decisions.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people agree that children should ask for parent's advice. Some Disagree. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
457 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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