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Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society.Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion.

Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion. W2GW
In today's world, doing a crime, whether it is violent or non-violent has become a casual thing. The only way to differentiate between them is, by the type of judgement provided based on the crime. Some people advocate that the death penalty is the solution for terrible crimes, however there is another group of people who denies the same. My view is that people must be punished with death penalty. Let us see the advantages and disadvantages of it in the following paragraphs. Fear is the only value people remember after doing a mistake. If this value is forgotten, then the number of crimes committed will be high, increasing day by day, as there is no one to question it. One major advantage of providing death penalty is that, the same crime will not be repeated again to someone else. Secondly, this will act as an example for those who are trying to repeat the crime, as they will have the fear of ending up their life soon. Also, as these are generally special cases, they are either advertised or telecasted in news which brings awareness among the people to take necessary precautions to safeguard themselves later. One example of proving its advantages is, there was a rape incident happened to a small kid around 8 years old. The suspect was caught and punished. After this incident, the schools started to educate children about the difference between good touch and bad touch. With respect to the disadvantage point of view, it is the family of the accused person who are affected the most. The society isolates them; children lose their education; become jobless; which leads to depression due to which negativity crawls in leading to suicide of the family. This has an adverse effect on the children who has the highest possibility to turn into criminals at any stage of their life. To conclude, every happenings in this world has its own benefits and effects. However my opinion is that, people should be given what they deserve whether it is good or bad, so that it paves a way for the future generation to live in a better world atleast.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, whether it is violent or non-violent has become a casual thing. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to differentiate between them is, by the type of judgement provided based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advocate that the death penalty is the solution for terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
however
there is another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
denies the same. My view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be punished
with death penalty.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the advantages and disadvantages of it in the following paragraphs.

Fear is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
remember after doing a mistake. If this value
is forgotten
, then the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed will be high, increasing day by day, as there is no one to question it. One major advantage of providing death penalty is that, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will not be
Consider using "repeated".
repeated again
to someone else.
Secondly
, this will act as an example for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are trying to repeat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, as they will have the fear of ending up their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
Also
, as these are
generally
special cases, they are either advertised or
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
in news which brings awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take necessary precautions to safeguard themselves later. One example of proving its advantages is, there was a rape incident happened to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
kid around 8 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. The suspect
was caught
and punished. After this incident, the schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to educate children about the difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
touch and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
touch.

With respect to the disadvantage point of view, it is the family of the accused person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the most. The society isolates them; children lose their education; become jobless; which leads to depression due to which negativity crawls in leading to suicide of the family. This has an adverse effect on the children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'children' should be used.
has
the highest possibility to turn into criminals at any stage of their life.

To conclude
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "happening"?
happenings
in this world has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and effects.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
my opinion is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
what they deserve whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it paves a way for the future generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a better world
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
.
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IELTS essay Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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