Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some peop,e think lhot sfudenfs benefif from going lo privole secondory schoo,s. Ofhers, however, feel lhot privote secondory schools con hove o negofive effecf on sociefy os o whole. Discuss bofh fhese views ond give yow own opinion.

Some peop, e think lhot sfudenfs benefif from going lo privole secondory schoo, s. Ofhers, however, feel lhot privote secondory schools con hove o negofive effecf on sociefy os o whole. Discuss bofh fhese views ond give yow own opinion. V07k3
ln order to choose the right type of secondary school, you need to weigh all of the options open to you. lt is a highly debated issue whether private secondary schools are good or bad for society. ln the following paragraphs, I intend to delve into the pros and cons of private secondary schools. On the positive side, most of the private schools offer smaller classroom size, and so the child can receive more individual attention from teachers. lt is a well-known fact that secondary education is very important, because in most cases the career is based on secondary school subjects. Secondly, private secondary schools offer better academic and extracurricular programs. As a result, there are lower dropout rates. Finally, there is less on-campus violence in private schools as compared to government schools. This is because students realize that their parents are spending huge sums of money on their schooling, and so they are more serious in studies. On the downside, there is less diversity in private schools as compared to public or government schools. As a result, children will meet fewer peers from diverse backgrounds because of the high tuition fee. Secondly, private secondary schools don't conform strictly to educational regulations. So, you have to do a lot of effort to select the right school for your child. Finally, these schools are very expensive and consequently increase the gap between the rich and the poor. The children from affluent backgrounds can afford these schools and get quality education, because of which they get into the best universities for higher education. The disadvantaged children of poor backgrounds find it very difficult to compete with them in all spheres of life. So, these create an imbalance in society. Summing up, private secondary schools are providing quality education and are a boon for society. However, they should have some relaxation in fees for the meritorious students of poor backgrounds, so that their disadvantages are minimized.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ln
order to choose the right type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, you need to weigh
Consider using "all the".
all of the
options open to you.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
is

a
highly
debated issue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ln
the following

paragraphs, I intend to delve into the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
schools.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offer smaller classroom size, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the child can receive

more individual attention from teachers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
is a well-known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in most cases
the career
is based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
secondary

schools offer better academic and extracurricular programs.
As a result
, there are lower dropout rates.

Finally
, there is less on-campus violence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This is

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students realize that their parents are spending huge sums of money on their schooling, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so


they are more serious in studies.

On the downside, there is less diversity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as compared to public or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. As

a result, children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
fewer peers from diverse backgrounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high tuition fee.
Secondly
,

private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
don't conform
strictly
to educational regulations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of


effort to select the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for your child.

Finally
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and
consequently
increase the gap between the rich and the poor.

The children from affluent backgrounds can afford these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of

which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the best universities for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The disadvantaged children of poor

backgrounds find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to compete with them in all spheres of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, these create an imbalance

in society.

Summing up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are providing quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and are a boon for society.

However
, they should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relaxation in fees for the meritorious students of poor backgrounds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so


that their disadvantages
are minimized
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some peop, e think lhot sfudenfs benefif from going lo privole secondory schoo, s. Ofhers, however, feel lhot privote secondory schools con hove o negofive effecf on sociefy os o whole. Discuss bofh fhese views ond give yow own opinion.

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some peop,e think lhot sfudenfs benefif from going lo privole secondory schoo,s. Ofhers, however, feel lhot privote secondory schools con hove o negofive effecf on sociefy os o whole. Discuss bofh fhese views ond give yow own opinion.