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People shouldn’t take as much as interest as they do in the do in the lives of celebrities and the gossip surrounding them. Do you agree or disagree?

People shouldn’t take as much as interest as they do in the do in the lives of celebrities and the gossip surrounding them. q06KP
Nowadays media is so active that they are publishing the private information of the famous people without even taken the consent of them. Some persons think this should be allowed and other think this practice should be stop as everyone have right to keep there private life in privacy. In my view this is wrong and this must be control or even stopped. In my view, this is wrong to expose or to telecast the privacy of any person because everyone has the right to have their known privacy and media don't have any right to telecast it without any consent from them. Therefor some control or restriction should be put on the media or some legal action should be taken on media for doing all this. On the other hand, Some people believe that celebrities, by choosing their job, have accepted to be exposed to rumors and have exposed their privacy to everyone. Other people believe that celebrities will gain more fame or be in the news by spreading rumors about themselves or their families, and the number of their followers in cyberspace will increase with this action. In conclusion, I feel that people and Media should think before telecasting anything which is personal and government should take some legal action if anything unnecessary is been publish by them.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
active that they are publishing the private information of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without even taken the consent of them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this practice should be
Did you mean "stopped"?
stop
as everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
there private life in privacy. In my view this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be control or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

In my view, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to expose or to telecast the privacy of any person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone has the right to have their known privacy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
don't have any right to telecast it without any consent from them. Therefor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
control or restriction should
be put
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
legal action should
be taken
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for doing all this.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that celebrities, by choosing their job, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to
be exposed
to rumors and have exposed their privacy to everyone. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that celebrities will gain more fame or be in the news by spreading rumors about themselves or their families, and the number of their followers in cyberspace will increase with this action.

In conclusion
, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
telecasting anything which is personal and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
legal action if anything unnecessary
is been
Consider using a past participle here: "published".
publish
by them.

IELTS essay People shouldn’t take as much as interest as they do in the do in the lives of celebrities and the gossip surrounding them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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