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Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will provide better care for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will provide better care for their kids. AYjN
While some parents believe that their children get the best care and support from playschools, others are of the opinion that grandparents are the best caretakers. I totally agree with the second view. Grandparents take good care of their grandchildren because they love them. They are their flesh and blood and that is a good reason to shower them with love and care. Also, grandparents are much more than caretakers. Besides taking care of their grandchildren, they help the babies to develop their social and language skills. Moreover, the blood relationship between them help better bonding and create an overall healthy atmosphere, which in turn foster better growth and character formation. For Instance, a recent research found that babies who spend a considerable amount of time with their parents or grandparents learn things much faster.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents believe that their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and support from playschools, others are of the opinion that grandparents are the best caretakers. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second view.

Grandparents take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their grandchildren
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
them. They are their flesh and blood and
that is
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to shower them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
Also
, grandparents are much more than caretakers.
Besides
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their grandchildren, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the babies to develop their social and language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, the blood relationship between them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
better bonding and create an
overall
healthy atmosphere, which in turn foster better growth and character formation.
For Instance
, a recent research found that babies who spend a considerable amount of time with their parents or grandparents learn things much faster.

IELTS essay Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will provide better care for their kids.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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