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Some parents think television is bad for their children and others believe it is beneficial . Do you agree or disagree.

Some parents think television is bad for their children and others believe it is beneficial. R5XXk
Some parents believe that watching television is bad for their children. So, they try to restrict their children from watching TV. However, other parents think that there is nothing bad in watching TV. Personally, I think that watching TV brings children only benefits unless they spend in front of TV set less than a couple of hours daily. For the following reasons, which I will mention bellow, I believe that television plays an essential role in child's development. First of all, television helps a child to extent his or her range of interests. Children can find out many new things and make many exiting discoveries for themselves. In addition to these practical benefits television improves children's vocabulary, their memory and gives them the opportunity to gain more knowledge. I think it is very essential for a child. Of cause, someone can say that there are plenty of different recourses of information such as books and teachers. But, I think, in our modern world children must learn faster and use all contemporary technology in order to succeed. Second of all, watching cognitive programs helps children to learn more about wild life, our environment and about the importance of preserving our forest and wild animals that live there. Scientists say that a child should not watch TV more than 40 minutes successively. For example, my mother always made us have a break after watching TV more than half an hour and let our eyes rest for several minutes before turning on the TV again. I think it is the best solution. To sum up, I believe that television gives children and all people the opportunity to learn what cannot be learn from books. Television and movies in particular allow people to feel the reality and see what they will most likely not be able to see in their lives. Personally, when I was a child I liked to watch cognitive programs about wild animals. Unfortunately, my family had only one TV, but these programs were the only ones we all wanted to watch. So, we gathered in our living room and watched them in complete silence and I always remember those moments with a smile on my face.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents believe that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they try to restrict their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from watching TV.
However
, other parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that there is nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in watching TV.
Personally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that watching TV brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefits unless they spend in front of TV set less than a couple of hours daily. For the following reasons, which I will mention bellow, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
plays an essential role in child's development.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
range of interests.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exiting discoveries for themselves.
In addition
to these practical benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
children's vocabulary, their memory and gives them the opportunity to gain more knowledge. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
Did you mean "of course" (=naturally)?
Of cause
, someone can say that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
recourses of information such as books and teachers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
, in our modern world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
faster and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all contemporary technology in order to succeed. Second of all, watching cognitive programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about wild life, our environment and about the importance of preserving our forest and wild animals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there. Scientists say that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV more than 40 minutes
successively
.
For example
, my mother always made us have a break after watching TV more than half an hour and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
our eyes rest for several minutes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
turning on the TV again. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is the best solution. To sum up, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
what cannot be
Consider using the past participle "learned", "learnt"?
learn
from books.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
and movies
in particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to feel the reality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what they will most likely not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Personally
, when I was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
I liked to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cognitive programs about wild animals. Unfortunately, my family had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one TV,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these programs were the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones we all wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we gathered in our living room and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
them in complete silence and I always remember those moments with a smile on my face.
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IELTS essay Some parents think television is bad for their children and others believe it is beneficial.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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