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Discuss the problems and solutions of herd mentality in the modern life. Remember to use specific examples or your real-life experiences to support your ideas.

Discuss the problems and solutions of herd mentality in the modern life. Remember to use specific examples or your real-life experiences to support your ideas. gxww7
Herd mentality has been present even from thousands of years ago when cavemen used to live in packs and hunts together. Following that, there are bound to be a multitude of lingering problems, which still apply to the present-day. This essay will go into detail about the problems of mob mentality as well as the solutions to them. Nowadays, most instances of mob mentality occurs on social medias, which is most likely the result of cyberbullying. As social networks like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter develops, when a person make a post, it is visible to to everyone who happens to stumble upon it. As a result, if a post’s content doesn’t suit the social standards of modern life, the poster has a high chance of being heavily criticized or even worse, attacked. To combat cyberbullying as an effect of mob mentality, we might need to incorporate a synergy from three different solutions as follows. First of all, youngsters should be educated about cyber safety. This can be done by fostering their required knowledge and skills for their safe and responsible behaviors in this platform in the future. In addition, critical thinking is also essential because behind any avatar is a human being with their own feelings and emotions and we, as civilized beings, would not like to hurt them in any manner. In legal terms, cyberbullying and other forms of over-the-web harassment should be rendered as criminal offence so as to minimize the frequency of violations as such and to punish violators. To sum up, though herd mentality brings about a major issues, cyberbullying, there a multiple methods to minimize the effect of this modern problem.
Herd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentality
has been present even from thousands of years ago when cavemen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in packs and hunts together. Following that, there
are bound
to be a multitude of lingering problems, which
still
apply to the present-day. This essay will go into detail about the problems of mob
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentality
as well
as the solutions to them.

Nowadays, most instances of mob
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentality
occurs on social medias, which is most likely the result of cyberbullying. As social networks like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter develops, when a person
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "makes".
make
a post, it is visible
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
everyone who happens to stumble upon it.
As a result
, if a post’s content doesn’t suit the social standards of modern life, the poster has a high chance of being
heavily
criticized or even worse, attacked.

To combat cyberbullying as an effect of mob
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentality
, we might need to incorporate a synergy from three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
solutions as follows.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, youngsters should
be educated
about cyber safety. This can
be done
by fostering their required knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for their safe and responsible behaviors in this platform in the future.
In addition
, critical thinking is
also
essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
behind any avatar is a human being with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
feelings and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
emotions and
we, as civilized beings, would not like to hurt them in any manner. In legal terms, cyberbullying and other forms of over-the-web harassment should
be rendered
as criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
minimize the frequency of violations as such and to punish violators.

To sum up, though herd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentality
brings about a major issues, cyberbullying, there a multiple
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "method"?
methods
to minimize the effect of this modern problem.
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IELTS essay Discuss the problems and solutions of herd mentality in the modern life. Remember to use specific examples or your real-life experiences to support your ideas.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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