Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some parents love to buy many toys for their children. What is the advantage and disadvantage of this

Some parents love to buy many toys for their children. What is the advantage and disadvantage of this 3YYpN
The toy industry is one of fastest growing sector in the world today because a high number of parents acquire so many of these playing tools for their children. In this essay, I will be discussing the merits and demerits of purchasing large quantity of these gadgets for a child. One one hand, toys are instruments of learning for children and can help with visual and mental development in early years. They are used to represent objects, ideas and have become one of the most efficient way of communication to learners as a result of their visual representation. For instance, the most effective way to show what a house look like is to use a toy as teaching tool and ones the child gets the image captured in his or her mind, they never forget. The use of character toys have revolutionised the method of passing knowledge to the little ones. On the other hand, a child's over dependent on these tools can become very problematical and addictive if not checked. There is need for well-roundedness and balance in raising children. Too many gadgets will limit a child and prevent other forms of interaction which are very beneficial to the upbringing of young learners. For example, cultural manners and way of life can not be learnt using toys. Therefore, it is recommended that parent encourage other means of relating with thor children. In conclusion, even though the use of toys is very beneficial for a child's communication and visual development, it can become addictive and may limit the child from the advantage of other forms of communication.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toy
industry is one of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the fastest".
fastest
growing sector in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a high number of parents acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these playing tools for their children. In this essay, I will be discussing the merits and demerits of purchasing large quantity of these gadgets for a child.

Possible typo: you repeated a word
One one
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are instruments of learning for children and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with visual and mental development in early years. They are
In the grammatical structure 'pronoun + be/get + used + to + verb', the verb 'used' is used with the gerund: "used to representing".
used to represent
objects,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and have become one of the most efficient way of communication to learners
as a result
of their visual representation.
For instance
, the most effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
what a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
look like is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toy
as teaching tool and ones the child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the image captured in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
mind, they never forget. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of character
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the method of passing knowledge to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ones.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a child's over dependent on these tools can become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
problematical and addictive if not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
. There
is need
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
well-roundedness
and balance in raising children. Too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gadgets will limit a child and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of interaction which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to the upbringing of young learners.
For example
, cultural manners and way of life can not be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
If 'learnt' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to use".
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
Therefore
, it
is recommended
The verb 'encourage' is plural. Did you mean: "that parent encourages"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that parent encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means of relating with
Possible spelling mistake found.
thor
children.

In conclusion
,
even though
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for a child's communication and visual development, it can become addictive and may limit the child from the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of communication.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some parents love to buy many toys for their children. What is the advantage and disadvantage of this

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some parents love to buy many toys for their children. What is the advantage and disadvantage of this