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Some parents buy ther children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

At the outset of modern millenium, the gurdians purchase abundant as well as mammoth play-substance and games for their daughters and sons. The bone of contention is that, whether aggrandizement of the creativity along with the splendid upsurgement of mental strength or unfamiliar with the social tools and strange deportment in the public spot. This trend has both upsides and downsides, and I would expound both viewpoints in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, there are numerous positive repercussions offered by toys to play by children daily. The most conspicuous one is vigorous knowledge of basic plights and activities. What I mean by this is that, ABC of speaking, reading, talking along with pondering are outset of playing a large number of games. Numerous studies have consistently found that, childern, who have a mighty experience to play a lots of toys are 32% talkactive than others. Another pivotal aspect is that, mental strength is hiked in great manner. Morever, development of mind is directly connected to practical activities which are accurately provided by the toys. There are ample evidences to suggest that children whose age upto 5 years, played dinky toys to mammoth toys are 12% superior in snappy catching of tiny moments. When we turn to the other side of argument, it has negatives. One preponderant fact is that, physical growth is minimal and also woefully impact on their extra curriculumn. Tobe more precise, these children have not a stupendous experience of outdoor plights and relations along with small number of friends. For instance, children who passed mofe time on their toys and games, they are less active in study and sports. The another issue is lacking of sports and sportsmanship. To add on, these types of children have no understanding on relationship and togetherness. To exemplify, children who have a mighty knowledge of playing with toys, have appalling physical repercussions. To recapitulate, there is no hesitation that, creativity hike along with puissance knowldge, yet social inactive deportment is upsurged by time, so it is upto parents to settle themselves, their limit of buying toys for their loved once towards their growth of future.
At the outset of modern millenium, the gurdians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
abundant
as well
as mammoth play-substance and games for their daughters and sons. The bone of contention is that, whether aggrandizement of the creativity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with the splendid upsurgement of mental strength or unfamiliar with the social tools and strange deportment in the public spot. This trend has both upsides and downsides, and I would expound both viewpoints in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, there are numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
repercussions offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
to play by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
daily. The most conspicuous one is vigorous knowledge of basic plights and activities. What I mean by this is that, ABC of speaking, reading, talking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with pondering are outset of playing a large number of games. Numerous studies have
consistently
found that, childern, who have a mighty experience to play a lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are 32% talkactive than others. Another pivotal aspect is that, mental strength
is hiked
in great manner. Morever, development of mind is
directly
connected to practical activities which are
accurately
provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
. There are ample evidences to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whose age upto 5 years, played dinky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
to mammoth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are 12% superior in snappy catching of tiny moments. When we turn to the other side of argument, it has negatives. One preponderant fact is that, physical growth is minimal and
also
woefully
impact on their extra curriculumn. Tobe more precise, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have not a stupendous experience of outdoor plights and relations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of friends.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who passed mofe time on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and games, they are less active in study and sports. The another issue is lacking of sports and sportsmanship. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on, these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have no understanding on relationship and togetherness. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have a mighty knowledge of playing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, have appalling physical repercussions. To recapitulate, there is no hesitation that, creativity hike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with puissance knowldge,
yet
social inactive deportment
is upsurged
by time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is upto parents to settle themselves, their limit of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
once towards their growth of future.
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IELTS essay Some parents buy ther children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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