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Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

In modern world some parents have adopted a permissive style of raising their children not refusing them to have or to do whatever they want. In my opinion, surely it’s not the best way for children to grow up full with further multifarious negative outcomes. Nowadays we often meet caregivers who are not any strict towards their children and are ready to fulfill any desire of them. Suchwise, parents think that it is beneficial for children to have a freedom of choice. In fact thus children will grow up as selfish and careless youngsters always being sure that parents will provide anything they want with. As an example I can mention my colleague’s ten years old kid who is destroying all his toys and gadgets without carrying for a second and demanding all the time new ones. Parents are tend to face unpleasant reality due to the soft style of parenting they choose. The disadvantage of this is the too young age children are in to realize the good and the bad in life, hence parents having more experience and wisdom should be role models and control the behavior of youngsters. In my opinion this attitude will lead to some point when they will face with uncontrollable children and definitely this not the case when children in future can state they grew up on their own. For instance my nephew as a result of permissiveness has grown up to become a real disaster for his parents being totally out of control and with no sense of responsibility. In conclusion, to avoid children being raised in wrong direction it is better not to be so kind-hearted towards their all needs.
In modern world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have adopted a permissive style of raising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not refusing them to have or to do whatever they want. In my opinion,
surely
it’s not the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow up
The usual collocation for “full” is “of”, not “with”. Did you mean “full of”?
full with
further
multifarious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes.

Nowadays we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
caregivers who are not any strict towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and are ready to fulfill any desire of them.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Suchwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “freedom”.
a freedom
of choice. In fact
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will grow up as selfish and careless youngsters always being sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will provide anything they want with. As an example I can mention my colleague’s ten years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
kid who is destroying all his toys and gadgets without carrying for a second and demanding all the time new ones.

Parents are
Consider using either the past participle “tended” or the present participle “tending” here.
tend
to face unpleasant reality due to the soft style of parenting they choose. The disadvantage of this is the too young age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are in to realize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in life,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
having more experience and wisdom should be role models and control the behavior of youngsters. In my opinion this attitude will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point when they will face with uncontrollable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and definitely this not the case when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in future can state they grew up on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For instance
my nephew
as a result
of permissiveness has grown up to become a real disaster for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
being
totally
out of control and with no sense of responsibility.

In conclusion
, to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being raised
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction it is better not to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
kind-hearted towards their all needs.

IELTS essay Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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