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Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries. What are the causes? Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history.

More and more people are increasingly interested in celebrities esspecially in films and music industries. Many young people are no longer pay attention to well known scientists and authors who have played a substential role in improving societies for many years. The main reaosn for this trend is the media, which will be discussed in this essay along with some suggestions to mitigate this trend. focus Media and the internet are the main cause why some people focus more on famous actors and singers. Their news and stories are broadcasted lively and everywhere. This makesthe young generation has an obsession with them. According to a study carried by a group of researches in Cairo university in 2020, commercials and movies have increased the popularity of movies stars among youth people. This shows how these channels impact our society, and they should be used to spot a light on the individuals who deserve to be followed. Despite all of these negative effects, there are various methods that can be used to grab the attention of society to the right persons. Firstly, governments can raise awareness campaign to inform our children about the achievements of our national leaders. Secondly, schools universities can organize sessions with some of our well-known figures so they can talk about their work. This can inspire the next generation to become valuable citizens. In conclusion, it is a fact that a great sector of nations is neglecting the famous leaders who work only to change the world for better. However, there are many actions that can be taken adverse this trend.
More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
increasingly
interested in celebrities
Possible spelling mistake found.
esspecially
in films and music industries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are no longer pay attention to well known scientists and authors who have played a
Possible spelling mistake found.
substential
role in improving societies for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years. The main
Possible spelling mistake found.
reaosn
for this trend is the media, which will
be discussed
in this essay along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions to mitigate this trend.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
focus


Media and the internet are the main cause why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
focus more on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actors and singers. Their news and stories
are broadcasted
lively and everywhere. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
makesthe
young generation has an obsession with them. According to a study carried by a group of researches in Cairo university in 2020, commercials and movies have increased the popularity of movies stars among youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how these channels impact our society, and they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spot a light on the individuals who deserve to
be followed
.

Despite all of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, there are various methods that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to grab the attention of society to the right persons.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can raise awareness campaign to inform our children about the achievements of our national leaders.
Secondly
, schools universities can organize sessions with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our well-known figures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can talk about their work. This can inspire the
next
generation to become valuable citizens.

In conclusion
, it is a fact that a great sector of nations is neglecting the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
leaders who work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world for better.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
actions that can
be taken
adverse this trend.

IELTS essay Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries. What are the causes? Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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