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Some Parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v.22

Some Parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 22
Some parents pamper their kids by buying lots of toys for them. This practice has both advantages and disadvantages. The most common advantage being the happiness of the child, whereas the disadvantage is that the child becomes addicted to it. On the one hand, every parent wants to see a smile on the face of the baby whenever rewarded with a toy. This not only gives them an internal satisfaction, but will also make the toddler happy. So, in order to enjoy these moments, the guardians develop a habit of buying different things for their siblings. Moreover, it becomes a custom that whenever a family goes for shopping, they have to buy a new gadget for the satisfaction of the young one. So to say, all this leads to a huge collection of different items in the home. For example, according to a research conducted in the USA, average number of toys bought by an American teenager are about 25 per year. On the other hand, the children who have plenty of things to play get absorbed in them so much that they lose interest in their surroundings. Firstly, it will affect their mental growth and create behaviour issues. Furthermore, they become less interactive and get lost in their imaginative world. So to say, the physical and spiritual development is halted and ultimately he will not grow up as an effective member of the society. For instance, a study conducted in the department of paediatrics at the University Hospital Birmingham shows that there is a rising trend of attitude issues in the young generation due to increased availability of video games. To conclude, it's the duty of elders to decide the pros and cons of rewarding their son and daughter with toys, as it will ultimately have a direct impact on their well being.
Some
parents pamper their kids by buying lots of
toys
for them. This practice has both advantages and disadvantages. The most common advantage being the happiness of the child, whereas the disadvantage is that the child becomes addicted to it.

On the one hand, every parent wants to
see
a smile on the face of the baby whenever rewarded with a
toy
. This not
only
gives them an internal satisfaction,
but
will
also
make
the toddler happy.
So
, in order to enjoy these moments, the guardians develop a habit of buying
different
things for their siblings.
Moreover
, it becomes a custom that whenever a family goes for shopping, they
have to
buy
a new gadget for the satisfaction of the young one.
So
to say, all this leads to a huge collection of
different
items in the home.
For example
, according to
a research
conducted in the USA, average number of
toys
bought
by an American
teenager
are about 25 per year.

On the other hand
, the children who have
plenty
of things to play
get
absorbed in them
so
much that they lose interest in their surroundings.
Firstly
, it will affect their mental growth and create
behaviour
issues.
Furthermore
, they become less interactive and
get
lost in their imaginative world.
So
to say, the physical and spiritual development
is halted
and
ultimately
he will not grow up as an effective member of the society.
For instance
, a study conducted in the department of
paediatrics
at the University Hospital Birmingham
shows
that there is a rising trend of attitude issues in the young generation due to increased availability of video games.

To conclude
, it's the duty of elders to decide the pros and cons of rewarding their son and daughter with
toys
, as it will
ultimately
have a direct impact on their
well being
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some Parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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