Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.513

In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 513
The recent survies indicate that there are enormous educated persons with no job positions all around the world, which made the governments worry. Students go to universites in order to obtain a secure, successful future. However, I believe that it is harder to identify what type of career would lead to a secure life because of following reasons. First, I think that in the past the population was much more less. If the population is not too high, the educated persons are fewer. As a result, more job positions are available in the country. In contrast, nowadays, the job positions related to persons' education degrees are already filled. So, most of the young people would migrate to work in foreign countries. In addition, recently, the governments had decided to alter the education system. Due to the new education policy, students must pass a wide variety of subjects to obtain their degrees. Hence, students lose lots of their time and learn some subjects completelly irrelevant to their future careers. Also, in the past, most of the companies provided some Intership courses before hirring someone. As a consequnce, students did not go to university, instead they were prepared directly for their careers. Last but not the least, the expcetation of companies are nowadays so much high that it almost makes it impossible to get a job right after the university. In other sense, in the previous decades, aplicants only were required to have education degrees. On the conterary, thesedays, aplicants must have extended knowledge including the effective social interaction, the impressive Body-Language, a comprehensive resume and an efficient recommendation. Beside these factors, all aplicant must win the closely compettition markets. To sum up, I am of the conviction that during the current dacade, it is so much more challenging to secure our future lives because the population are continueing to grow, the new education policy and extreme companies' expectations.
The recent
Possible spelling mistake found.
survies
indicate that there are enormous educated persons with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
positions all around the world, which made the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
worry.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
universites
in order to obtain a secure, successful future.
However
, I believe that it is harder to identify what type of career would lead to a secure life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of following reasons.

First
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in the past the population was much
Use only "less" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more less
. If the population is not too high, the educated persons are fewer.
As a result
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
positions are available in the country.
In contrast
, nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
positions related to
Possible spelling mistake found.
persons&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
degrees are already filled.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, most of the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would migrate to work in foreign countries.

In addition
, recently, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
had decided to alter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system. Due to the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
policy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pass a wide variety of subjects to obtain their degrees.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lose lots of their time and learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subjects
Possible spelling mistake found.
completelly
irrelevant to their future careers.
Also
, in the past, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
Intership
courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
hirring
someone. As a
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequnce
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
did not go to university,
instead
they
were prepared
directly
for their careers.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
expcetation
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much high that it almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
right after the university. In other sense, in the previous decades,
Possible spelling mistake found.
aplicants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
were required
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
degrees. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
conterary
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
aplicants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have extended knowledge including the effective social interaction, the impressive Body-Language, a comprehensive resume and an efficient recommendation. Beside these factors, all
Possible spelling mistake found.
aplicant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
win the
closely
Possible spelling mistake found.
compettition
markets.

To sum up, I am of the conviction that during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Possible spelling mistake found.
dacade
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much more challenging to secure our future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the population are
Possible spelling mistake found.
continueing
to grow, the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
policy and extreme
Possible spelling mistake found.
companies&
#039; expectations.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 513

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts