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Some parents believe that reading entertainment book is a waste of time. In there opinion children should only read serious, educational books. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own experiences. v.2

Some parents believe that reading entertainment book is a waste of time. In there opinion children should only read serious, educational books. v. 2
It is undisputed that books are medium for gaining knowledge and collecting informations. Presently, some parents reckon that books providing amusement to the children is worthless and it leads to wastage of time. By contrast, they think only academic or educational books are grave to the children. In my view, off springs must have freedom to read recreational books along with academic books. This essay intends to discord with the given statement firmly and some logical points will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. There are numerous point to endorse my point of view. First and foremost, entertainment book based on stories can be a massive source of inspirations for the children. To demonstrate, such books can have life changing impacts on them by motivating to applying better ways on their lives. Taking a real life example inti consideration, in my childhood, on my birthday, i was gifted by a story book. That book had some motivational stories. One of them with title ' Union is strength' was the story of an old farmer who had four sons who quarreled every times. But, farmer brought unity among them with the help of few tricks. This book seriously inspired me towards the value of unity. Consequently, Such entertaining book plays magnificent role in life of pupils. Further, emphasizing on my point of view, children become fed up or frustrated if they are forced to read only educational books. In fact, they will certainly loss their intrigue towards reading. Indeed, they should be free to read recreational books in free time to revitalize their energies and to remain psychologically fit. To Recapitulate, undeniably, both educational and entertainment books are indispensable for them. I totally disagree with this statement because recreational books boon the children to refresh their mind.
It
is undisputed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are medium for gaining knowledge and collecting
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
.
Presently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
providing amusement to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is worthless and it leads to wastage of time. By contrast, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic or educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are grave to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my view, off springs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have freedom to read recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
along with academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. This essay intends to discord with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement
firmly
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
will
be discussed
in upcoming paragraphs.

There are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
to endorse my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view.
First
and foremost, entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
can be a massive source of inspirations for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To demonstrate, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can have life changing impacts on them by motivating to applying better ways on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Taking a real life example
Possible spelling mistake found.
inti
consideration, in my childhood, on my birthday,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was gifted
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motivational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
. One of them with title ' Union is
Possible spelling mistake found.
strength&
#039; was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
of an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
farmer who had four sons who quarreled every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "time"?
times
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, farmer brought unity among them with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of few tricks. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
seriously
inspired me towards the value of unity.
Consequently
, Such entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
plays magnificent role in life of pupils.

Further
, emphasizing on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become fed up or frustrated if they
are forced
to read
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. In fact, they will
certainly
"loss" is a noun. Did you mean the verb "lose" (= 'to lose')?
loss
their intrigue towards reading.
Indeed
, they should be free to read recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in free time to revitalize their energies and to remain
psychologically
fit.

To Recapitulate,
undeniably
, both educational and entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are indispensable for them. I
totally
disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
boon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to refresh their mind.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents believe that reading entertainment book is a waste of time. In there opinion children should only read serious, educational books. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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