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Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV, Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled? v.1

Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV, Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled? v. 1
There is an increasing number of violent information showing in many entertainments, which is a worrying issue for the majority of parents. In this essay, I intend to explore the source of this problem along with some possible solutions to it. Chief among the causes of this problem is that children may not be aware of imitating the negative behaviour from TV, online or social media platforms and cause a threaten on society. This is due to many kids do not have enough of certain knowledge to recognise the right or wrong contents in the entertainments, which could result them to do dangerous movements, such as stealing items in the shops, treating strangers for money and so on. Another contributing factor is that no matter playing video games or watching TV programmes, it has a huge impact on children, neglecting their homeworks and this will also delay their learnings at school. In order to resolve children absorbing too many negative thoughts from entertainments, I believe we must first address its root causes. Perhaps the most effective methods of doing this would be for parents to spend more time getting involved with the Children's pastime. The aim is to let parents educate certain conducts to their loved one, which would assist each individual child to understand the dangerous actions in the virtual reality. One further measure is that pupils need to be taught how to recognise and report inappropriate behaviour. This, hence, could reduce other students to obtain misunderstanding information from TV or games. In reality, this problem is unlikely to be resolved in the short term. However, I believe that the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step.
There is an increasing number of violent information showing in
many
entertainments, which is a worrying issue for the majority of parents. In this essay, I intend to explore the source of this problem along with
some
possible solutions to it.

Chief among the causes of this problem is that children may not be aware of imitating the
negative
behaviour
from TV, online or social media platforms and cause
a threaten
on society. This is due to
many
kids do not have
enough
of certain knowledge to
recognise
the right or
wrong
contents in the entertainments, which could result them to do
dangerous
movements, such as stealing items in the shops, treating strangers for money and
so
on. Another contributing factor is that no matter playing video games or watching TV
programmes
, it has a huge impact on children, neglecting their
homeworks
and this will
also
delay their learnings at school.

In order to resolve children absorbing too
many
negative
thoughts from entertainments, I believe we
must
first
address its root causes. Perhaps the most effective methods of doing this would be for parents to spend more time getting involved with the Children's pastime. The aim is to
let
parents educate certain conducts to their
loved
one, which would assist each individual child to understand the
dangerous
actions in the virtual reality. One
further
measure is that pupils need to
be taught
how to
recognise
and report inappropriate
behaviour
. This,
hence
, could
reduce
other students to obtain misunderstanding information from TV or games.

In reality, this problem is unlikely to
be resolved
in the short term.
However
, I believe that the measures outlined above would constitute a
good
first
step.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV, Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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