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Some organizations are considering their employees to dress smartly, others value the quality of work than appearance. What is you views or opinion?

Some organizations are considering their employees to dress smartly, others value the quality of work than appearance. What is you views or opinion? 1nLaL
There are some organisations that are strict with their employees when it comes to appearance like following the right dress code while some are focus on the quality of work rather than the outside appearance of their employees. Firstly, we should not judge a person by looking on their physical appearance but looking on their capabilities or qualities instead. But I agree that we should dress smartly in order for us to be more presentable and looks professional. In addition, wearing an appropriate attire during working hours will make you feel comfortable. However, we should also value the employees quality of work which is also very important to consider in an organization Secondly, you should also consider choosing the appropriate dress that makes you feel comfortable. In my past experienced wayback 2015, I was working in one of the popular organization in our country. I was obliged to wear a presentable outfit during office hours as they said it is important to be looks smart rather that wearing any dress that not suites with my job. From there, I realized that aside from considering the quality of work, it is also important to value the way we dress. On the other hand, as I mentioned above, other organizations are more considerate to the quality of work o compared to the outside appearance of their employees. Indeed, it is also essential in a company to have an excellent employee as they value their work by heart. Therefore, I conclude that organizations should value both, which is to consider their employees to dress smartly and to value their quality of work as well as these may help build a better and a successful organization at the present and in the near future.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
that are strict with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
like following the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than the outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
of their employees.

Firstly
, we should not judge a person by looking on their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
looking on their capabilities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
instead
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
smartly
in order for us to be more presentable and looks professional.
In addition
, wearing an appropriate attire during working hours will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you feel comfortable.
However
, we should
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider in an
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization


Secondly
, you should
also
consider choosing the appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you feel

comfortable. In my
Consider using "experienced".
past experienced
Possible spelling mistake found.
wayback
2015, I was working in one of the popular
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
in our country. I
was obliged
to wear a presentable outfit during office hours as they said it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be looks smart
rather
that wearing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
that not suites with my job. From there, I realized that aside from considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
the way we dress.

On the other hand
, as I mentioned above, other
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
are more considerate to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
o compared to the outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Indeed
, it is
also
essential in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to have an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by heart.

Therefore
, I conclude that
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
both, which is to consider their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
smartly
and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as well
as these may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build a better and a successful
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
at the present and in the near future.
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IELTS essay Some organizations are considering their employees to dress smartly, others value the quality of work than appearance. What is you views or opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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