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some individuals that the authorities ought to give priority to medical facilities, others argue the tax revenue should be spent more on other sectors

some individuals that the authorities ought to give priority to medical facilities, others argue the tax revenue should be spent more on other sectors 9YpAW
While it is often considered by some individuals that the authorities ought to give priority to medical facilities, others argue the tax revenue should be spent more on other sectors. From my perspective, the government should provide an equal amount of financial support to all sectors, including healthcare. To begin, according to some, having a high quality of medical amenities is their primary right. That is why they prefer the government to give more priority to medical development. In other words, the ministry must make sure that its citizens are healthy and fit. Hence, a certain portion of the tax fund should be allocated to the advancement of medical treatments. Others, on the other hand, believe that progress in other areas, such as education and infrastructure, is more significant. This is because the taxpayers' money needs to be invested in these sectors. Since a better education system can guarantee a nation's success not only for the present but also for the future as well, Besides education progress, having an advanced and green infrastructure is also crucial. Therefore, the government should spend a small amount of its budget on constructing new highways and updating transportation facilities. In my opinion, both views are imperative in equal measure. While a good healthcare system offers a disease-free life to ordinary people, a high-quality education system and improved infrastructure can ensure a higher standard of living for individuals. Thus, the tax revenue must be allocated evenly across all sectors. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly support both perspectives. The medical sector's growth offers a healthy life to people, whereas the high quality of educational facilities and better infrastructure will help them to improve their living standards.
While it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that the authorities ought to give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities, others argue the tax revenue should
be spent
more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors. From my perspective, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide an equal amount of financial support to all sectors, including healthcare.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, having a high quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
amenities is their primary right.
That is
why they prefer the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to give more priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
development. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the ministry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that its citizens are healthy and fit.
Hence
, a certain portion of the tax fund should
be allocated
to the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatments.

Others, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, believe that progress in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
, is more significant. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the taxpayers' money needs to
be invested
in these sectors. Since a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system can guarantee a nation's success not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the future
as well
,
Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
progress, having an advanced and green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
is
also
crucial.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of its budget on constructing new highways and updating transportation facilities.

In my opinion, both views are imperative in equal measure. While a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
healthcare system offers a disease-free life to ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, a high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
can ensure a higher standard of living for individuals.
Thus
, the tax revenue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be allocated
evenly
across all sectors.

In conclusion
, I
wholeheartedly
support both perspectives. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sector's growth offers a healthy life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, whereas the high quality of educational facilities and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living standards.
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IELTS essay some individuals that the authorities ought to give priority to medical facilities, others argue the tax revenue should be spent more on other sectors

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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