Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some high school require students to wear uniforms. other allow students to wear clothing of their own choice. which situation do you think is better and why? v.1

some high school require students to wear uniforms. other allow students to wear clothing of their own choice. which situation do you think is better and why? v. 1
Over the past few decades, urban cities have been continuing densely populated. There are many reasons why people choose to live in these areas. However, naturally, there are some consequences people living in these areas have been faced with difficult issues in their everyday life. Moreover, many measures would be taken out to solve these problems by individuals and governments. To begin with, one of the main problems in overcrowded cities is air pollution because people commuting in every day life generally use their private cars instead of using buses or trains. Moreover, factories have been releasing much more exhaust fumes in the air for a last decade so that is why if governments and societies should take some measures alertly to prevent these negative effects. For instance, improving availability of public transport system and installing bus lanes throughout the city might encourage people to adopt these systems. And also, local councils and governments make it more difficult for car drivers use their car only allowing certain vehicles in city areas on certain times. A similar system has been running in London for some time, and has resulted in fewer vehicles on the roads. Secondly, another problem is that crime rates are going to increase in urban cities than in rural areas because everyone is not given the same opportunities such as education and job chance. If governments and businesses had offered equal rights to each person, overpopulated cities would not face with this problem. However, ı think that if they offer the same rights to all, the crime rate will be going to decrease in societies. To sum up, ın my perspective, to solve out these problems quickly might be occurring by putting strict rules. Governments and societies must have responsibilities and work together to tackle with these problems. If they not, they might have more unsolvable issues in next years.
Over the past few decades, urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have been continuing
densely
populated. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
However
,
naturally
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have
been faced
with difficult issues in their everyday life.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measures would
be taken
out to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in overcrowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is air pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commuting
Did you mean "in everyday"?
in every day
life
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their private cars
instead
of using buses or trains.
Moreover
, factories have been releasing much more exhaust fumes in the air for a last decade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and societies should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures
alertly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
For instance
, improving availability of public transport system and installing bus lanes throughout the city might encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to adopt these systems. And
also
, local councils and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more difficult for car drivers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
allowing certain vehicles in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
on certain times. A similar system has been running in London for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, and has resulted in fewer vehicles on the roads.

Secondly
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that crime rates are going to increase in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the same opportunities such as education and job chance. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and businesses had offered equal rights to each person, overpopulated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
would not face with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
However
, ı
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they offer the same rights to all, the crime rate will be going to decrease in societies.

To sum up,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ın
my perspective, to solve out these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
quickly
might be occurring by putting strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
and societies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have responsibilities and work together to tackle with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. If they not, they might have more unsolvable issues in
next
years.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some high school require students to wear uniforms. other allow students to wear clothing of their own choice. which situation do you think is better and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts