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Some graduates prefer to travel for a year between graduation and gaining a full time employment.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Some graduates prefer to travel for a year between graduation and gaining a full time employment. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. OVyoG
After completing graduation, some people choose to join a full-time job, whereas some choose to go to journey for almost a year before joining the employment. In both the cases, an individual learns something and also loose something, as both cases have their own benefits and drawbacks, which I will explain in the following essay. To begin with, advantages, one can refresh his or herself and consequently regain the energy to get back to work. For instance, after constant hard work of 4 or 5 years one may feel tired and may need some time to regain the enthusiasm to work again. This kind of time off may help them. Secondly, one can explore people, culture and other fields as well, which may be helpful to oneself to develop communication skills, increase knowledge and to explore other opportunities. To illustrate, some people from the fashion or journalism field may fine some other people with more experience or knowledge or even they can recognize their hidden talents. But travelling after graduation also has some drawbacks, which cannot be ignored. To talk about the disadvantages, first and foremost, after a gap of almost a year one may loose some may lose their skills of their respective fields. Secondly, one may lack a year of experience of work, which may leave oneself behind from other colleagues. For example, if anyone chooses to take a break for a long time, it is very obvious to lost command over some technical skills, which they have learned previously and that will affect their quality work. To sum up, a long time span chosen to travel around after graduation may prove to be blessings or even a loss. Counting on benefits, such as regaining energy or acquiring more knowledge, and drawbacks like lost grip on some important skills and experience one should take a decision.
After completing graduation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a full-time job, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
choose to go to journey for almost a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining the employment. In both the cases, an individual learns something and
also
loose something, as both cases have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks, which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, advantages, one can refresh his or herself and
consequently
regain the energy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, after constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of 4 or 5 years one may feel tired and may need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to regain the enthusiasm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
again. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
Secondly
, one can explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields
as well
, which may be helpful to oneself to develop communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, increase knowledge and to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
opportunities. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the fashion or journalism field may fine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more experience or knowledge or even they can recognize their hidden talents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
travelling after graduation
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, which cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

To talk about the disadvantages,
first
and foremost, after a gap of almost a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
one may
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of their respective fields.
Secondly
, one may lack a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
oneself behind from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
colleagues.
For example
, if anyone chooses to take a break for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
obvious to lost command over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which they have learned previously and that will affect their quality work.

To sum up, a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
span chosen to travel around after graduation may prove to be blessings or even a loss. Counting on benefits, such as regaining energy or acquiring more knowledge, and drawbacks like lost grip on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and experience one should take a decision.
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IELTS essay Some graduates prefer to travel for a year between graduation and gaining a full time employment. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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