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People nowadays sleep less than they used to do in the past. What are the causes? What are the effects?

People nowadays sleep less than they used to do in the past. What are the causes? What are the effects? AjgqX
The Less sleeping habit takes over among this century era than the past, and it relates some unhealthy lifestyle and advanced technology. Let me guide to reasons for causes and how they affect us in this essay. Firstly, the Problem of sleeping has a huge impact on our daily life, due to lack of sleeping, some lose their concentration for their works or study. The study conducted by Tokyo University, said if people slept less than seven hours a day, they could easily lose enthusiasm for work or study. The main contributory factor that I would suggest is attributed to the increased use of social network services. To be more specific, people spend their time watching Facebook, Instagram, etc. , before they go to bed. Some of them even set their businesses by way of their social application accounts, which allows them to work unlimited dawn to dusk. As a matter of fact, people who work at a company with varied branches with different time zones were easily reduced a sleeping time 2 or 3 hours a day. As far as daring consequence is concerned, those who less sleep risk of their mental health. In other words, they are likely to be an insomniac, struggling with sleep deprivation. In addition, the sleeplessness has a responsible for a physical issue too. For instance, blood circulation and metabolic might be jeopardized. In conclusion, no one doubt that individuals used to sleep more in the past than we do today. I believe that social networking has a responsibility to let people less sleep. Due to the fact that I mentioned above, people are threatened by advanced technology to live competitive society. So people should focus on level of health, and set their sleep time as mandatory to stay healthy.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
habit takes over among this century era than the past, and it relates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unhealthy lifestyle and advanced technology.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me guide to reasons for causes and how they affect us in this essay.

Firstly
, the Problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
has a huge impact on our daily life, due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lose their concentration for their works or study. The study conducted by Tokyo University, said if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
slept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than seven hours a day, they could
easily
lose enthusiasm for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study. The main contributory factor that I would suggest
is attributed
to the increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social network services. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching Facebook, Instagram, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they go to bed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them even set their businesses by way of their social application accounts, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
unlimited dawn to dusk. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with varied branches with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
zones were
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
2 or 3 hours a day.

As far as daring consequence
is concerned
, those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of their mental health.
In other words
, they are likely to be an insomniac, struggling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
deprivation.
In addition
, the sleeplessness has a responsible for a physical issue too.
For instance
, blood circulation and metabolic might
be jeopardized
.

In conclusion
, no one doubt that individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
more in the past than we do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. I believe that social networking has a responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
. Due to the fact that I mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are threatened
by advanced technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
competitive society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should focus on level of health, and set their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as mandatory to stay healthy.
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IELTS essay People nowadays sleep less than they used to do in the past. What are the causes? What are the effects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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