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Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. G6NL
Community's funds are being spending by the authorities on individuals to impart some coaching to get success in sports competitions globally. Although this notion is favoured by one part of the society, others have a counter-argument that there are numerous problems are facing by the local inhabitants and the government should solve this issue with this wealth. In my opinion, public funds should be spent on the residents first. This essay will discuss some ideas to support my viewpoint in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, public funds are not only helping to develop the nation but also spread prosperity among people. To elaborate further, with this resource authority can improve roads, bridges, railways and the standard of public transportation. This progress leads to the improvement of local sources and their users. For instance, a recent survey conducted by BBC News has revealed that authority must give priority to develop basic requirements to build a robust society. Moreover, by paying money to any sportsman to take part in sport and attain victory, only can deliver happiness to him/her rather than the whole community. The well-being living lifestyle of common people only can be maintained with the support of raising sufficient funds by the administration. Hence, this finance assists in various ways to solve plenty of issues. Besides, several other improvements also can be done through public wealth. Firstly, there are major and crucial ameliorate require to achieve in primary necessities such as education and health institutes. Secondly, the government ought to invest more in the public section to increase the number of employments among their citizens. To illustrate, in the UK 30% of jobless got their job after raising the money to public sections. Additionally, after getting success in any international sports it cannot change the future of the local public, It merely depends on how their own authorities are paying attention to them. Thus, social and personal development rely on this fund. To conclude, I unequivocally believe that the government have the ability to tackle myriad problems with public money which will be profitable for the community and the nation. Therefore, paying public fund to sportsperson is squandered of the valuable resource of the nation.
Community's funds are being spending by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
on individuals to impart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
coaching to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success in sports competitions globally. Although this notion is
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by one part of the society, others have a counter-argument that there are numerous problems are facing by the local inhabitants and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should solve this issue with this wealth. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
funds should
be spent
on the residents
first
. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to support my viewpoint in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
funds are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
helping to develop the nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
spread prosperity among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To elaborate
further
, with this resource
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
roads, bridges, railways and the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation. This progress leads to the improvement of local sources and their users.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by BBC News has revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give priority to develop basic requirements to build a robust society.
Moreover
, by paying money to any sportsman to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in sport and attain victory,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can deliver happiness to him/her
rather
than the whole community. The well-being living lifestyle of common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
be maintained
with the support of raising sufficient funds by the administration.
Hence
, this finance assists in various ways to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of issues.

Besides
, several other improvements
also
can
be done
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
wealth.
Firstly
, there are major and crucial ameliorate require
Did you mean "achieving"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to achieve
in primary necessities such as education and health institutes.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to invest more in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
section to increase the number of employments among their citizens. To illustrate, in the UK 30% of jobless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
their job after raising the money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
sections.
Additionally
, after getting success in any international sports it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the future of the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, It
merely
depends on how their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
are paying attention to them.
Thus
, social and personal development rely on this fund.

To conclude
, I
unequivocally
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have the ability to tackle myriad problems with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
money which will be profitable for the community and the nation.
Therefore
, paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
to sportsperson
is squandered
of the valuable resource of the nation.
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IELTS essay Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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