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Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. EWKM
Some governments consume (a) lot of citizen earned cash(public funds) for coaching individuals to be victorious in international sporting occasion. Some people think that this money should be used up on things that will be profitable for general public instead. I think government is doing the right thing to spend the hard-earned money for sport instead of lashing out the funds on things that will be benefits for general public only. In our country there are lot of good sport players and they are not able to play in international games. Though they are genuinely hard working and very talented sport persons, but due to some reasons they are lagging behind the ultimate selection position. I am not specifying a particular game, this is happening in almost every games. The reasons behind these lagging are no genuine facilities & trainings for players, lack of modern instruments, insufficient playgrounds for each sport, no proper diet etc. Apart from this, there is also one reason is popularity of game. For example, in our country in India, cricket is most popular game rather than other games. But if you go in rural villages, you will find lot of talented sport persons in other games. Unfortunately, due to proper training and lack of knowledge they are not able to get selected. For example, in my village I knew few good and talented sport persons who are good at boxing. Unluckily, due to lack of trainings and modern facilities they could not come out from the village. And this is one example only, you will find lot of skilled sport persons in each and every districts and states. In conclusion, I would say governments have taken the right decision for spending the public hard-earned money to train the individuals to be successful in international sporting event rather than simply wasting the money on things that will be beneficial for general public only.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
consume (a)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of citizen earned cash(public funds) for coaching individuals to be victorious in international sporting occasion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up on things that will be profitable for general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
instead
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is doing the right thing to spend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
instead
of lashing out the funds on things that will be benefits for general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

In our country there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
players and
they are not able to play in international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Though they are
genuinely
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons they are lagging behind the ultimate selection position. I am not specifying a particular game, this is happening in almost every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "game"?
games
. The reasons behind these lagging are no genuine facilities & trainings for players, lack of modern instruments, insufficient playgrounds for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, no proper diet etc. Apart from this, there is
also
one reason is popularity of game.
For example
, in our country in India, cricket is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
popular game
rather
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if you go in rural villages, you will find
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Unfortunately, due to proper training and lack of knowledge they are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
selected.
For example
, in my village I knew few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at boxing.
Unluckily
, due to lack of trainings and modern facilities they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from the village. And this is one example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, you will find
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
in each and every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "district"?
districts
and states.

In conclusion
, I would say
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have taken the right decision for spending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to train the individuals to be successful in international sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
rather
than
simply
wasting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on things that will be beneficial for general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
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IELTS essay Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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