Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to do because the use of modern technology has made them less creative do you agree or disagree?

leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to do because the use of modern technology has made them less creative K879
we can see in this modern era use of Technology is extremely high accordingly, perceive many changes in way of entertainment and in this fastest world people do not have many time to spend on relaxation. I do not stand with the statement that use of latest technology has reduced the creativity of the people. In recent century leisure industry become very popular due to telecasting system we can telecast any program in corner of the world and most favourable invention of the human is Internet that provide a many platforms to upload short film and also create a many pleasure things on which people are spend their valuable time such as many creator upload their comedy video on YouTube and many more build video game on Play Store. Thus why people do not give time on their enjoyment life? in past century people work for their basic need like eat and cloth but in modern time people work on facilities and high requirement people do not take time for pleasures and become highly workaholic. Despite, people are not become less creative they are changed the way of entertainment due to modern technology. Like they spend their time on social media play video games or draw pictures on mobile phone although we are perform drama on real stage in front of audience while in neoteric world change the way platform become technical. Use of technology in leisure industry quantitative way due to this create many platforms for creator and also very useful for the viewers. They can watch content easy way.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in this modern era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is
extremely
high
accordingly
, perceive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in way of entertainment and in this fastest world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend on relaxation. I do not stand with the statement that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the creativity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In recent century leisure industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular due to telecasting system we can telecast any program in corner of the world and most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
invention of the human is Internet that provide a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
platforms to upload short film and
also
create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pleasure things on which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spend their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
creator upload their comedy video on YouTube and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more build video game on Play Store.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their enjoyment life?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
past century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work for their basic need like eat and cloth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work on facilities and high requirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for pleasures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
highly
workaholic.

Despite,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less creative they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way of entertainment due to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Like they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media play video games or draw pictures on mobile phone although we are
Consider using a past participle here: "performed".
perform
drama on real stage in front of audience while in neoteric world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way platform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
technical.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in leisure industry quantitative way due to this create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
platforms for creator and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for the viewers. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
content easy way.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to do because the use of modern technology has made them less creative

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts