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SOME GOOD STEPS/WAYS YOU CAN IMPROVE YOURSELF BETTER

SOME GOOD STEPS/WAYS YOU CAN IMPROVE YOURSELF BETTER AwrqM
To become a better version of ourselves, as far as I know, we have to be persistent in changing day by day even from the slightest things. First, let's read often. By reading regularly, you can gain more knowledge, have various points of view to feel clear, and maybe you can develop the strategic vision that helps you advance on your career path. On the other hand, try to use a smartphone and social networking limitedly. Do not be depended on technological equipment too much because it is the reason that makes we being lazy and keeps doing meaningless things. Besides, when we spend over time on the internet, the infrared radiation escaped smartphones can certainly influence our health, it is really dangerous. Next, let's learn how to connect with people from the simple things, such as, when you see somebody that you know or even if you just meet them the first time, do not pass to each other but drop and smile, it will make them warm to you. The last one also the most important thing is let's love ourselves first. Why do we have to listen to criticism someone and start crying? That is so preposterous. By way of consequences, let's treat ourselves kindly, we can eat whatever we love, we can do whatever we want because we deserve to be happy, and this is our life, not anyone else. In conclusion, everyone in this world has their strengths and weaknesses, but if we try on our best, I believe we can harvest satisfactory outputs. So improving yourself is also improving your quality of life.
To become a better version of ourselves, as far as I know, we
have to
be persistent in changing day by day even from the slightest things.
First
,
let
's read
often
. By reading
regularly
, you can gain more knowledge, have various points of view to feel
clear
, and maybe you can develop the strategic vision that
helps
you advance on your career path.
On the other hand
, try to
use
a smartphone and social networking
limitedly
. Do not
be depended
on technological equipment too much
because
it is the reason that
makes
we being lazy and
keeps
doing meaningless things.
Besides
, when we spend over time on the internet, the infrared radiation escaped smartphones can
certainly
influence our health, it is
really
dangerous
.
Next
,
let
's learn how to connect with
people
from the simple things, such as, when you
see
somebody that you know or even if you
just
meet
them the
first
time, do not pass to each other
but
drop and smile, it will
make
them warm to you. The last one
also
the most
important
thing is
let
's
love
ourselves
first
. Why do we
have to
listen to criticism someone and
start
crying?
That is
so
preposterous. By way of consequences,
let
's treat ourselves kindly, we can eat whatever we
love
, we can do whatever we want
because
we deserve to be happy, and this is our life, not anyone else.
In conclusion
, everyone in this world has their strengths and weaknesses,
but
if we try on our best, I believe we can harvest satisfactory outputs.
So
improving yourself is
also
improving your quality of life.
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IELTS essay SOME GOOD STEPS/WAYS YOU CAN IMPROVE YOURSELF BETTER

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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