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It is better to children to grow up in villages than in cities. Do you agree or disagree. Give examples and reasons to develop your essay.

It is better to children to grow up in villages than in cities. Give examples and reasons to develop your essay. nXxkg
There are some people in our society who support the view that it is good for children to grow up in villages than in big cities. I cannot agree to this statement. Because living in a big city in the absence of strong friends make them rebellious. The lack of activities make then sick as it affects their immune system. We all know that a string communication with friends and nearby people make a positive impact on us. The absence of true friendship is a curse of people in cities. It equally affects the mindset of both elders and children. This contributes a big problem to children than adults. It is proved that being alone in the middle of all the facilities adversely affect the behaviour of children. A recent study proves that the hype activeness among the children who live in the cities are high than that of children in villages. Parents can make them come out of the problem by allowing them to play with children. The lack of physical activities cause much problem in children. Through the regular physical activities keep their immune system healthy and make them more active. An article in the Indian express which is published a couple of months back proves that the problems related to immune system is low in children who play regularly. This also make them healthy as the physical activities promote good sleep. However we can conclude by saying that it is better for children to grow in villages than in metropolitan cities. Because to a certain extent it saves them from becoming a rebel. It also plays an important role in the building up of a strong immunity system.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our society who support the view that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow up in villages than in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city in the absence of strong friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them rebellious. The lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
Did you mean "makes"?
make
then sick as it affects their immune
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. We all know that a string communication with friends and nearby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on us. The absence of true friendship is a curse of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. It
equally
affects the mindset of both elders and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This contributes a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than adults. It
is proved
that being alone in the middle of all the facilities
adversely
affect the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. A recent study proves that the hype activeness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
Use "higher" to make a comparison with this adjective.
high
than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in villages. Parents can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by allowing them to play with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The lack of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Through the regular physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their immune
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
healthy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them more active. An article in the Indian express which
is published
a couple of months
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "backs"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'back' is not always incorrect.)
back
proves that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to immune
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is low in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who play
regularly
. This
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them healthy as the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
promote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sleep.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
we can conclude by saying that it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow in villages than in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
to a certain extent it saves them from becoming a rebel. It
also
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the building up of a strong immunity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
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IELTS essay It is better to children to grow up in villages than in cities. Give examples and reasons to develop your essay.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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