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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at the primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at the primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? NOx2
Traditionally, in old days, children had to begin learning second language in the secondary school. But nowadays, the idea of introducing second language since in the primary school year is recommended by most educationalists. In my point of view, I firmly believe that this policy would appropriate and provide long-term gain. This policy has been also imposed in almost every country’s curricula in the world. There’s no doubt that children can pick up languages much more easier than teenagers. Unlike adolescents, they are not inhibited by self-consciousness, which facilitates acquiring another language. Young learners are enthusiastic to explore brand new things. Moreover, since the primary school timetable is considerably lighter as well as allow more spare time than secondary school timetable. Furthermore, learning new language is a new trend these days. There’s nothing to lose by learning another language in the primary school. Everyone already know that to be professional in a language, it takes a certain period of time. For that reason, it would be better if children have a chance to be able to keep in touch with another language since they’re in primary school. Children, especially in primary school, are the most suitable to inculcate the basic of the language. Hence, the primary school should pave the way to give attention to new language. On the other hand, there are some downsides. Firstly, primary school teachers are generalists and they may not have the proficient language sill themselves or they may not be well trained to teach a foreign language. Secondly, it would affect children’s ability to develop their mother tongue properly. Thirdly, the capacity of children’s brains are not same. As a result, some might get confused by different grammar patterns and pronunciation at the same time. All of all, in this day and age, a person who speak more language has a greater effect and opportunity in the work filed. So, fledgling children’s innate ability should be encouraged to make these profits more achievable.
Traditionally
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
learning second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of introducing second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
since in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
year
is recommended
by most educationalists. In my point of view, I
firmly
believe that this policy would appropriate and provide long-term gain. This policy has been
also
imposed in almost every country’s curricula in the world.

There’s no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can pick up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
much
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Unlike adolescents, they are not inhibited by self-consciousness, which facilitates acquiring another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. Young learners are enthusiastic to explore brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
Moreover
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
timetable is
considerably
lighter
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more spare time than secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
timetable.
Furthermore
, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
trend these days. There’s nothing to lose by learning another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Everyone already
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "knows", "knew".
know
that to be professional in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, it takes a certain period of time. For that reason, it would be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a chance to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
since they’re in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, are the most suitable to inculcate the basic of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should pave the way to give attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teachers are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
generalists and
they may not have the proficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
sill
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
themselves or
they may not be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
to teach a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Secondly
, it would affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
ability to develop their mother tongue
properly
.
Thirdly
, the capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
brains are not same.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
grammar patterns and pronunciation at the same time. All of all, in this day and age, a person who speak more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has a greater effect and opportunity in the work filed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, fledgling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
innate ability should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these profits more achievable.
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IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at the primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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