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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society?

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society? 3XeN
In this industrialized time as we are progressing forward economically, The social un justice immensely elevated numbers of criminals and crime rate, In the light of this fact a greater number of crime are committed by the convicts who just finished their prison time. In the following paragraph I will elaborate reason and its impact on our society. Firstly let's delve on the contributing factors leading to repeated felony by convicted unlawful folks. Most of them have urge to commit felonious actions, subsequently give sense of grandiosity or completeness. Secondly matter of the fact a great number of thugs take law in their hands because of unable to meet basic needs like food and shelter. Although committing crime is unacceptable but considering circumstance involving it is also important to treat it appropriately. On the other hand surge in crimes has a immense aftermath on the community. It can end giving people sense of Insecurity and not being safe while on the streets or going for work. More over it can breed more criminals, consequently put wrong impression on kids. Crime surge in turn force govt. to spend big chunk of tax wealth on addressing the issue. In the light of the facts vice is detrimental to the society. My opinion is that controlling crime on the streets and trying to keep thugs of the streets is the best way to move forward, More over proper environment to make them good citizens and planning there rehabilitation in society is important too.
In this industrialized time as we are progressing forward
economically
, The social
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
justice
immensely
elevated numbers of criminals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate, In the light of this fact a greater number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are committed
by the convicts who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
finished their prison time. In the following paragraph I will elaborate reason and its impact on our society.

Firstly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's delve on the contributing factors leading to repeated felony by convicted unlawful folks. Most of them have urge to commit felonious actions,
subsequently
give sense of grandiosity or completeness.
Secondly
matter of the fact a great number of thugs take law in their hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
basic needs like food and shelter. Although committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is unacceptable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
considering circumstance involving it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to treat it
appropriately
.

On the other hand
surge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
immense aftermath on the community. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sense of Insecurity and not being safe while on the streets or going for work. More over it can breed more criminals,
consequently
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
impression on kids.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
surge in turn force govt. to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chunk of tax wealth on addressing the issue. In the light of the facts vice is detrimental to the society.

My opinion is that controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
on the streets and trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
thugs of the streets is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward, More over proper environment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens and planning there rehabilitation in society is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
too.
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IELTS essay Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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