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Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent.

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. q3Xw
It is irrefutably true that playing a role of parents is not walk in the parks, therefore, some opine that qualities of good parent should be thought at school level in order to enhance the capcity of the people patiences, but i disagree with this view due to many reasons which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraph. There are many reasons behind this trend, Firstly, teaching good qualities of parent will incline the burden on the shoulders of students because a number of subjects they have to learn in order to compete to others in the cut-throat competition age and students will not able to get white color jobs unless schools incorporate only academic subjects in curriculum as well as it will prove an aessts for life. Moreover, if pupils begin learning of parents qualities they will loss concentration on their academic subjects and they do not understand the feeling of this relationship. On the other hand, a person have some qualities, first and foremost, economic conditions should be better which will offer all the amenities to the offspring such as food, shelter and clothes without these things good parent cannot be thought. Lastly, despite of having good economic conditions, parents should have patience, love and emotional feelings which are play an instrumental role in upbringing of children. To encapsulate, given aforementioned information, it is abundantly clear that only academic subjects had better be taught at school level rather than other qualities.
It is
irrefutably
true that playing a role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is not
Consider using a past participle here: "walked".
walk
in the parks,
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
at school level in order to enhance the
Possible spelling mistake found.
capcity
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
patiences
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree with this view due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which will
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraph.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind this trend,
Firstly
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
will incline the burden on the shoulders of students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn in order to compete to others in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competition age and students will not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
white color jobs unless schools incorporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in curriculum
as well
as it will prove an
Possible spelling mistake found.
aessts
for life.
Moreover
, if pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
learning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
they will
"loss" is a noun. Did you mean the verb "lose" (= 'to lose')?
loss
concentration on their academic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subjects and
they do not understand the feeling of this relationship.

On the other hand
, a person have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
,
first
and foremost, economic conditions should be better which will offer all the amenities to the offspring such as food, shelter and clothes without these things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
Lastly
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
economic conditions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should have patience,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and emotional feelings which are play an instrumental role in upbringing of children.

To encapsulate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
aforementioned information, it is
abundantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
had better
be taught
at school level
rather
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
.
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IELTS essay Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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