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Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead.

Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. RO7k
Nowadays, many parents are worried about their child’s habits such as spending too much time on watching television or playing digital games on computer. They emphasize that children should read more books rather than watching a television show. In my opinion, older child should spend larger proportion of their leisure time for reading, whereas, younger ones should not be restricted as it could affect their upbringing. I will discuss both views in forthcoming paragraphs. In a long run, habit of reading books is extremely helpful for the kids, especially in the academics. It is evident that children with good reading skills perform much better than others at the school. Moreover, reading a book can leverage other skills such as communication or linguistic skills. Another advantage of reading book is that children become more creative as reading involves focus and imagination. A reader has the capability to imagine things that he or she reads which eventually leads to develop a creative mind. However, reading a book is not everyone’s cup of tea. Admittedly, many children do not find books as a source of an entertainment. It is difficult for young children to adopt books as a leisure activity. Therefore, parents should allow them some other activities such as playing games on computer or watching a television. What parents can do is that they should schedule these activities and should encourage their children to give some time of the day to reading any book. In conclusion, I firmly agree with the notion that children should devote their time to books. It is the parent’s duty to encourage them to read books and spend less time on computer or watching a television.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are worried
about their child’s habits such as spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or playing digital games on computer. They emphasize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should read more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rather
than watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. In my opinion, older child should spend larger proportion of their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, whereas, younger ones should not
be restricted
as it could affect their upbringing. I will discuss both views in forthcoming paragraphs.

In a long run, habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is
extremely
helpful for the kids,
especially
in the academics. It is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
perform much better than others at the school.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
can leverage other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as communication or linguistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more creative as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
involves focus and imagination. A reader has the capability to imagine things that he or she reads which
eventually
leads to develop a creative mind.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is not everyone’s cup of tea.

Admittedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as a source of an entertainment. It is difficult for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as a leisure activity.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other activities such as playing games on computer or watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can do is that they should schedule these activities and should encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the day to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
any book.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should devote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. It is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
duty to encourage them to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computer or watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.

IELTS essay Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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