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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. AXnN
Due to richness and attractiveness celebrities today are getting more popular rather than accomplishing something good, in return, this is putting adverse effect on teenagers. Yes, I strongly agree to the statement. If celebrities get more famous because of other factors which do not include hard work, dedication or determination then definitely young ones will also try to follow same way of work to achieve everything in life. Nowadays, there are lot of celebrities getting fame because they have some relationship with other famous personalities, in fact, they did nothing much to get the respective work and made famous because of their industry links. For instance: - Varun Dhawan being a son of great director David Dhawan has launched his son and was being made star overnight without doing much struggle. Similarly, due to nepotism in industry many stars have earned charm without putting any efforts. Because of this, teenagers today will also learn that to become famous you need to be a rich person or should have better links. However, in early days in order to become famous one need to struggle a lot. In addition, one need to follow his passion, work day and night then only individual able to earn something good and become a great celebrity. For Instance: - The famous actor Dharmendra, came from a very small unknown village of Punjab, struggled a lot initially and eventually become great personality who was being liked by everyone. This was due to his dedication towards work, passion and commitments towards work. Moreover, teenagers make these celebrities as their role model and follow their way of working in order to become famous and eventually succeed in life. In order to conclude, well to do celebrities should not be given lime-light unless or until they really deserve greatness, in return, this will help in passing great message to young individuals.
Due to richness and attractiveness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are getting more popular
rather
than accomplishing something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, in return, this is putting adverse effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Yes, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the statement. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of other factors which do not include
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, dedication or determination then definitely young ones will
also
try to follow same way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to achieve everything in life.

Nowadays, there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
getting fame
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relationship with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities, in fact, they did nothing much to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their industry links.
For instance
:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
Varun
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhawan
being a son of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
director David
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhawan
has launched his son and was
being made
star overnight without doing much struggle.
Similarly
, due to nepotism in industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stars have earned charm without putting any efforts.
Because of this
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
will
also
learn that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
you need to be a rich person or should have better links.

However
, in early days in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
one need to struggle a lot.
In addition
, one need to follow his passion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day and night then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
individual able to earn something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.
For Instance
:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
actor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dharmendra
, came from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
unknown village of Punjab, struggled a lot
initially
and
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
personality who was
being liked
by everyone. This was due to his dedication towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, passion and commitments towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
as their role model and follow their way of working in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
and
eventually
succeed in life.

In order
to conclude
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
lime-light unless or until they
really
deserve greatness, in return, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
message to young individuals.
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IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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