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Some employers want to be able to contact their staff all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages.

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages. QqDw
To the competitive world, people have to upgrade yourself and know to everything about who work in the organization. A number of employers like to be contact their staff all times, even they have a weekly off. I think, they have a more benefits that others who are unwilling to be work on holidays. However, they also have certain drawbacks. To begin with, some employers are able to their quality time spend to doing a work for company and they engage with their staff every times because the thirsty of the knowledge and also they want getting extra knowledge about their organization and they earn to possible everything and update yourself. Therefore, they show their ability in any project work and getting appreciate by that the organization. Moreover, these individuals as soon as possible get high promotion and their salaries interested more as compares to other because they are doing a more work. On the other hand, due to the busy schedule some employers do not like to work on holidays because they find to very hard time spend with their family that is why they do not like to contact with their staff on weekends. Furthermore, they think holidays is the necessary for the everyone owing to health issue. For instance, people are doing all time work without taking a day as a rest they getting a more anxiety and depression. Consequently, their behaviour like a irretating and also frustrating nature. To conclude, I think, employers taking the higher position and larger share hence they doing a extra work so they ready to all time link with their staff even on holidays. Additionally, this development both for employers and organization have more advantages rather than have a little disadvantages for employees.
To the competitive world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
upgrade yourself and know to everything about who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
like to be contact their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, even they have a weekly off. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, they have a more benefits that others who are unwilling to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
.
However
, they
also
have certain drawbacks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
are able to their quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company and
they engage with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "time"?
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
The phrase 'the thirsty of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the thirsty of
the knowledge and
also
they want getting extra knowledge about their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
organization and
they earn to possible everything and update yourself.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their ability in any project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and getting appreciate by that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
.
Moreover
, these individuals as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high promotion and their salaries interested more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compares to other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
a more work.

On the other hand
, due to the busy schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
do not like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they find to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spend with their family
that is
why they do not like to contact with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
on weekends.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
is the necessary for
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "everyone"?
the everyone
owing to health issue.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without taking a day as a rest
Did you mean "they're getting", "they are getting", or "they were getting"?
they getting
a more anxiety and depression.
Consequently
, their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
like
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
irretating
and
also
frustrating nature.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
taking the higher position and larger share
hence
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they ready to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
link with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
even on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
.
Additionally
, this development both for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
have more advantages
rather
than have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
disadvantages for employees.
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IELTS essay Some employers want to be able to contact their staff all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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