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Some People Say The Main Way To Be Happy Is To Have A Lot Of Money

Some People Say The Main Way To Be Happy Is To Have A Lot Of Money 1RNN
There is no doubt that money is always used as a parameter to define happiness, it is commonly believed that the primary source of joyfulness is immense wealth; however, money is not the only key to happiness, other factors also effect the happiness because happiness is a sense of satisfaction, therefore it can be gained from other factors. This essay will be discussed the importance of money and other factors should be considered as a parameter of joyfulness. Having a huge chunks of money can lead to luxurious lifestyle which is indispensable to show the symbol of status and improve standard of living, If any person have a lot of money, he/she can buy materialistic things such as expensive car, branded clothes and so on, these things give them satisfaction. Moreover, money may be played a invisible role in the human life, to cite an example, in materialistic world, people are being suffered from dangerous disease which can be overcome only through surgery, in order to take a surgery means need a huge chunks of money as a result, money plays crucial rule in human being life. On the other side, satisfaction cannot be gained through a lot of money, Firstly, a famous saying that health is wealth, according to this, money does not give sense of satisfaction to ill people if it does not help to cure their health issue then have a lot money meaningless. Moreover, happiness might be offered by helping needy people, for instance, food is given to poverty stricken people also give happiness to some people as well as, some inhabitants are providing free of cost study to the poverty stricken which is not only bring joyfulness but also bring holistic development of the country. To encapsulate, after considering all above mentioned information, it is abundantly clear that gaining happiness is also depend on the money up to some extent but it is not only the main component of joyfulness but other factors such as health also considered to measure the happiness.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a parameter to define
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happiness
, it is
commonly
believed that the primary source of joyfulness is immense wealth;
however
,
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money
is not the
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only
key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
also
effect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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happiness
is a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
,
therefore
it can
be gained
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. This essay will
be discussed
the importance of
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money
and
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
should
be considered
as a parameter of joyfulness.

Having a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "chunk"?
chunks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can lead to luxurious lifestyle which is indispensable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the symbol of status and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
standard of living, If any person have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, he/she can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
materialistic things such as expensive car, branded clothes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, these things give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
Moreover
,
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money
may
be played
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
invisible role in the human life, to cite an example, in materialistic world,
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people
are
being suffered
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
disease which can
be overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
through surgery, in order to take a surgery means need a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "chunk"?
chunks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in human being life.

On the
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other
side,
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satisfaction
cannot
be gained
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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money
,
Firstly
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
saying that health is wealth, according to this,
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money
does not give sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
to ill
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people
if it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to cure their health issue then have a lot
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money
meaningless.
Moreover
,
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happiness
might
be offered
by helping needy
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people
,
for instance
, food is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
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people
also
give
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happiness
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
as well
as,
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some
inhabitants are providing free of cost study to the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
which is not
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only
bring joyfulness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bring holistic development of the country.

To encapsulate, after considering all above mentioned information, it is
abundantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that gaining
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happiness
is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the
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money
up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
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only
the main component of joyfulness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as health
also
The verb 'considered' is used with the gerund form: "considered measuring".
considered to measure
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
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IELTS essay Some People Say The Main Way To Be Happy Is To Have A Lot Of Money

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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