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Some educational systems make students study specialized subjects from the age of fifteen while others require students to study a wide range of subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As school campaign teaches its students with a variety of subjects in usual teaching methods, there is argument that some systems offer to teach them with fewer amount of subjects at the age of fifteen to become more enlightened, while others claim that having a myriad of subjects is considerable until forsaking the school. This essay will explore benefits of both requirements and indicate which one brings more advantages. Firstly, educating children with a limited range of subjects is one of the essential ways to generalize their knowledge on the field which they are intending. This is because this approach helps them to manage their time to focus on their specialized subjects to comprehend more on the aspects of their choosen majors. Furthermore, at the age of fifteen, pupils would have started to think theoretically on the basis of all subjects which means they are able to determine what subjects are more needed to themselves. For instance, we can view from private schools where students are taught with the subjects of their selected field at the age of fifteen as they can gain higher achievements in most cases in their education career compare to public schools respectively. Conversely, with a diversity of subjects, there are many advantages which come into students in terms of reaching knowledge in distinct fields. Those subjects make them stronger and push them to struggle with different conversions of their entire life as life is not only based on challenges of one field. Take an example of people's regular lives, where those who did not study medicine and human anatomy at school, would not be actually capable of accomplishing first-aid if something occurs suddenly ( injuries). In addition, studying a wide range of subjects boosts our knowledge and awareness as well as develops mentality of human beings in understanding the importance of all subjects as seems better rather than not caring of these subjects. To conclude, in a limited subjects students basically increase wisdom on their tending field, whereas different subjects do not only make students prepared for their field but also make them prepared for life and diverse situations as well.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
campaign teaches its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in usual teaching methods, there is argument that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
systems offer to teach them with fewer amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at the age of fifteen to become more enlightened, while others claim that having a myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is considerable until forsaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This essay will explore benefits of both requirements and indicate which one brings more advantages.

Firstly
, educating children with a limited range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is one of the essential ways to generalize their knowledge on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
which they are intending. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to manage their time to focus on their specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to comprehend more on the aspects of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
choosen
majors.
Furthermore
, at the age of fifteen, pupils would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
theoretically
on the basis of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which means they are able to determine what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are more needed to themselves.
For instance
, we can view from private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taught
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of their selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
at the age of fifteen as they can gain higher achievements
in most cases
in their education career compare to public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
respectively
.

Conversely
, with a diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in terms of reaching knowledge in distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them stronger and push them to struggle with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
conversions of their entire life as life is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
based on challenges of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. Take an example of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, where those who did not study medicine and human anatomy at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, would not be actually capable of accomplishing
first
-aid if something occurs
suddenly
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
injuries).

In addition
, studying a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
boosts our knowledge and awareness
as well
as develops mentality of human beings in understanding the importance of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as seems better
rather
than not caring of these subjects.

To conclude
, in a limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
basically
increase wisdom on their tending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prepared for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them prepared for life and diverse situations
as well
.
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IELTS essay Some educational systems make students study specialized subjects from the age of fifteen while others require students to study a wide range of subjects.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
356 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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