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Some countries have a long working day, which is helpful for them to become economically successful, but it also causes some negative social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some countries have a long working day, which is helpful for them to become economically successful, but it also causes some negative social problems. Nw5lb
There are a lot of pepple who believe that a long average working time is contribute to higher economic progress. I agree with this statement so this essay will provides some evidences to prove this. First of all, the long working day not associates with a country's economic progress. the development of a country's economy requires all kinds of facors, not only a long average working time, but also effective management, productivity and sustainability. Besides, a recent survey run by, THE BUSISNESS TIMES revealed that 80% employees waste those extended hours by taking long breaks. As a result, it is clearly that long working hours will not determine the recession. Secondly, Japan is the nation where employees works 12 hour a day, which shows that is one of the most powerful country in terms of technology in the world. However, that can effect Japanese's mental health, thay have less time to relax or sleep, feel exhausted every day. So, they choose the worst way to solve this and Japan is the country which is have the highest sucidal rate. In addition, along average working time can put employee's health in danger like have obesity, heart's diseases and so on. Furthermore, worker who have a long working day could be impacted on social life by long working hours. They have less connection with family or friends. It is difficult to have a date with their wife or their husband, so the divorce rate and single rate of the country have a long working day is increased. Therefore, in the future the country will have a lack of workers. In conclusion, nations with long working hours are have a several of social issuses and health problems of workers. Any country that aims to have a mature economical condition has to look for any methods except of adding working hours.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pepple
who believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
Consider using a past participle here: "contributed".
contribute
to higher economic progress. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "provide"
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidences to prove this.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day not associates with a country's economic progress.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
development of a country's economy requires all kinds of
Possible spelling mistake found.
facors
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
effective management, productivity and sustainability.
Besides
, a recent survey run by, THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
BUSISNESS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIMES
revealed that 80% employees waste those extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
breaks.
As a result
, it is
clearly
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will not determine the recession.
Secondly
, Japan is the nation where employees
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "work".
works
12
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
a day, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that is
one of the most powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in terms of technology in the world.
However
, that can effect Japanese's mental health,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to relax or sleep, feel exhausted every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they choose the worst way to solve this and Japan is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
the highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucidal
rate.
In addition
, along average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can put employee's health in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
like have obesity, heart's diseases and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Furthermore
, worker who have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day could
be impacted
on social life by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. They have less connection with family or friends. It is difficult to have a date with their wife or their husband,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the divorce rate and single rate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day
is increased
.
Therefore
, in the future the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will have a lack of workers.

In conclusion
, nations with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
a several of social
Possible spelling mistake found.
issuses
and health problems of workers. Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that aims to have a mature economical condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
look for any methods except of adding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
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IELTS essay Some countries have a long working day, which is helpful for them to become economically successful, but it also causes some negative social problems.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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