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Some countries encourage teenagers to have part time job and see it as a good thing while others disagree. To what extent do you agree?

Some countries encourage teenagers to have part time job and see it as a good thing while others disagree. q06Pw
With rapid development and fast-paced urbanization, people want to live a better lifestyle. Also, inflation has hiked since past decade due to which monthly expenses has also increased. For the above mentioned reason, some people believe that teenagers should start working part-time. My opinion is discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, teenagers must join some organization or companies in their free time. This not only helps them to earn some money but also provide them experience. They learn about few important qualities like honesty, being responsible, time management, punctuality, dedication etc. which are necessary for building up a person's profile. Moreover, they can also be familiar with hoe the world works outside the four walls of their home. Furthermore, teens can also develop some skills like cooking, managing, interacting with colleagues and customers. These are hugely beneficial to them. Instead of sitting idle at home and passing their valuable time watching movies and web series, teenagers should work few hours a day which can be helpful. However, if the teen is pursuing studies, part-time jobs are not highly recommended as they could not spend those extra hours to improve their grades and this might affect their academic records. Apart from this, there are chances that teenagers might indulge in illegal items like drugs or maybe cigarettes at their workplace which is very harmful. To conclude, teenagers could learn great skills and qualities in addition to money but the also might get involved in prohibited substances which results in their downfall.
With rapid development and
fast
-paced urbanization,
people
want to
live
a better lifestyle.
Also
, inflation has hiked since past decade due to which monthly expenses has
also
increased. For the above mentioned reason,
some
people
believe that
teenagers
should
start
working part-time. My opinion
is discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
begin
with,
teenagers
must
join
some
organization or
companies
in their free time. This not
only
helps
them to earn
some
money
but
also
provide them experience. They learn about few
important
qualities like honesty, being responsible, time management, punctuality, dedication etc. which are necessary for building up a person's profile.
Moreover
, they can
also
be familiar with hoe the world works outside the four walls of their home.
Furthermore
, teens can
also
develop
some
skills
like cooking, managing, interacting with colleagues and customers. These are
hugely
beneficial to them.
Instead
of sitting idle at home and passing their valuable time watching movies and web series,
teenagers
should work few hours a day which can be helpful.

However
, if the teen is pursuing studies, part-time jobs are not
highly
recommended as they could not spend those extra hours to
improve
their grades and this might affect their academic records. Apart from this, there are chances that
teenagers
might indulge in illegal items like drugs or maybe cigarettes at their workplace which is
very
harmful.

To conclude
,
teenagers
could learn great
skills
and qualities
in addition
to money
but
the
also
might
get
involved in prohibited substances which results in their downfall.
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IELTS essay Some countries encourage teenagers to have part time job and see it as a good thing while others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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