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Some countries are struggling with an increase in the role of crime many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the role of crime many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. N1Xm
in the contemporary era, most of countries/ nations are facing crime problems. Most of nations trying to reduce the crime with the help of police. People are suffering due to lot of increase of crime in nation. it reduce if army and police take the stick action against the crime, make sure crime will be reduce. In this essay disagree partially with the above notion and the point will be discuss in upcoming paragraph. Individual are most are aggressive and immoral with each other. People have not patient is the main reason of crime, robbery, harassment etc. moreover, not care of punishment and what is the actual result will be come out. Ergo, it is very important to aware about our responsibilities and need to change our thinking. In additional, police department are full with corruption and bad people. They not do their duty very well and responsibilities even. The government should be arrange the tight security that take stick actions if the police officers found guilty. Furthermore, having stringent law can also be deterrent to crime. If there is stick punishment to rubbery, harassment etc. then crime will be reduce. To conclude, I would like to reiterate that more police on the streets is the no way to reduce crime the important is that the change the thinking of people help to condense the crime.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the contemporary era,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the countries") or simply say "most countries".
most of countries
/ nations are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
problems.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the nations") or simply say "Most nations".
Most of nations
trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are suffering due to
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in nation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
if army and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
take the stick action against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will be
Consider using the past participle "reduced"?
reduce
. In this essay disagree
partially
with the above notion and the point will be
Consider using the past participle "discussed"?
discuss
in upcoming paragraph.

Individual are most are aggressive and immoral with each other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have not patient is the main reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, robbery, harassment etc.
moreover
, not care of punishment and what is the actual result will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out. Ergo, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to aware about our responsibilities and need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our thinking.

In additional,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
department are
The usual collocation for "full" is "of" not "with". Did you mean "full of"?
full with
corruption and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They not do their duty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well and responsibilities even. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be
Consider using the past participle "arranged"?
arrange
the tight security that take stick actions if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
officers found guilty.

Furthermore
, having stringent law can
also
be deterrent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. If there is stick punishment to rubbery, harassment etc. then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will be
Consider using the past participle "reduced"?
reduce
.

To conclude
, I would like to reiterate that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
on the streets is the no way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the thinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to condense the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
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IELTS essay Some countries are struggling with an increase in the role of crime many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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