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SOME CONSIDERED THAT PUT FUND FOR SPECIES WHICH FACING TO EXTINCTION DOESN'T WORTH, YET OTHER ONES THINK THAT IT IS CRUCIAL.

SOME CONSIDERED THAT PUT FUND FOR SPECIES WHICH FACING TO EXTINCTION DOESN'T WORTH, YET OTHER ONES THINK THAT IT IS CRUCIAL. Jo7q0
SOME CONSIDERED THAT PUT FUND FOR SPECIES WHICH FACING TO EXTINCTION DOESN'T WORTH, YET OTHER ONES THINK THAT IT IS CRUCIAL. IN MY OPINION, SPENDING MUCH MONEY ON EXTINCTION BREES BECAUSE OF THEIR BENEFIT IS NECESSARY. THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT THE DRAWBACKS OF PROTECTING EVERY BREED WHICH ARE ENCOUNTERS OF EXTINCTION ARE MORE THAN NOT SAVING THEM. FIRST, THE SUFFICIENT EFFECT OF PREVENTING BIODIVERSITY FROM IMPAIRING, SOMEHOW WORTH THAN ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY. THESE COULD ALSO LEAD TO SAVE ECOSYSTEM. FOR INSTANCE, THREAT OF ILLNESS SUCH AS A TYPE OF FUNGUS INTO THE AIR OUT OF ELIMINATION OF A KIND OF BAT. HOWEVER, THIS WOULD HURT NOT ONLY THE ECOSYSTEM BUT EVEN THE MANKIND'S LIFE. SECONDLY, ATTACKER SPECIES ARE THE SECOND REASON FOR PROTECT THEM. IF A CERTAIN BREED VANISHES FROM A SCOPE, THE OTHER THAT THEIR LIFE HAS BEEN IN DANGER BECAUSE OF THOSE WILL ATTACK TO THAT SPECIFIC ZONE AND DESTROYING OTHER TYPE OF ANIMALS. FOR INSTANCE, BY EXTINCTION OF A TYPE OF INSECT WHICH EXISTS IN THEM IS CRUCIAL FOR THE FARMLAND MAY LEAD TO THAT FARMERS FOR DESTROYING PESTS FOR CROPS CULTIVATION FORCED TO USE PESTICIDE. AS A RESULT, THIS CHEMICAL PESTICIDE WOULD BE AFFECTING ON THE HEALTH OF THE CROPS AND OTHER HUMANS WHO UTILIZE THEM. IN CONCLUSION, IF PREVENTING THE EXTINCTION OF SPECIES HAS PAID OFF, THE RAPID DETERIORATION OF THE ENVIRONMENT WOULD DECREASE. AND ALSO THE DIRECT EFFECT THAT IT HAS ON HUMAN LIFE AND HABITAT WOULD MODIFY BY THIS MASSIVE CAMPAIGN AND MOVEMENT.
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SOME
CONSIDERED THAT PUT FUND FOR SPECIES WHICH FACING TO
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EXTINCTION
DOESN'T WORTH,
YET
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OTHER
ONES
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
THAT IT IS CRUCIAL. IN MY OPINION, SPENDING MUCH MONEY ON
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EXTINCTION
Possible spelling mistake found.
BREES
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THEIR BENEFIT IS NECESSARY.

THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT THE DRAWBACKS OF PROTECTING EVERY BREED WHICH ARE ENCOUNTERS OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EXTINCTION
ARE MORE THAN NOT SAVING THEM.
FIRST
, THE SUFFICIENT EFFECT OF PREVENTING BIODIVERSITY FROM IMPAIRING, SOMEHOW
Did you mean "worse", the comparative of 'bad'?
WORTH
THAN ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY. THESE COULD
ALSO
LEAD TO SAVE ECOSYSTEM.
FOR INSTANCE
, THREAT OF ILLNESS SUCH AS A TYPE OF FUNGUS INTO THE AIR OUT OF ELIMINATION OF A KIND OF BAT.
HOWEVER
, THIS WOULD HURT NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
THE ECOSYSTEM
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
EVEN THE MANKIND'S LIFE.

SECONDLY
, ATTACKER SPECIES ARE THE SECOND REASON FOR PROTECT THEM. IF A CERTAIN BREED VANISHES FROM A SCOPE, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
THAT THEIR LIFE HAS BEEN IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
DANGER
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THOSE WILL ATTACK TO THAT SPECIFIC ZONE AND DESTROYING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
TYPE OF ANIMALS.
FOR INSTANCE
, BY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EXTINCTION
OF A TYPE OF INSECT WHICH EXISTS IN THEM IS CRUCIAL FOR THE FARMLAND MAY LEAD TO THAT FARMERS FOR DESTROYING PESTS FOR CROPS CULTIVATION FORCED TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
PESTICIDE.
AS A RESULT
, THIS CHEMICAL PESTICIDE WOULD BE AFFECTING ON THE HEALTH OF THE CROPS AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
HUMANS WHO UTILIZE THEM.

IN CONCLUSION
, IF PREVENTING THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EXTINCTION
OF SPECIES HAS PAID OFF, THE RAPID DETERIORATION OF THE ENVIRONMENT WOULD DECREASE. AND
ALSO
THE DIRECT EFFECT THAT IT HAS ON HUMAN LIFE AND HABITAT WOULD MODIFY BY THIS MASSIVE CAMPAIGN AND MOVEMENT.

IELTS essay SOME CONSIDERED THAT PUT FUND FOR SPECIES WHICH FACING TO EXTINCTION DOESN'T WORTH, YET OTHER ONES THINK THAT IT IS CRUCIAL.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 6.5
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