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Some companies think employing young people is better. Other think older people are better discuess both views and conclusion

Some companies think employing young people is better. Other think older people are better discuess both views and conclusion Xn9MA
Comapnies play a vital role in the economy of any country and they have various recruitment systm for the business. Some business authorities believe that employing young genertion is more effective as compared to the seniors citizens. In this essay i will discuss the bothe points before reaching on a concrete conclusion. According to me, young are better for the more production and older for the experience and balance between these tows is better for the sucess for a business. first of all, youngsters are good in health than older people and the do more work and increse the production of a company. secondly, they are more familiar with the the new technology and use the new machines in a effcetive way. For instance, according to a survey the compnies which employed the more adults are more sucessful as compared to the others. Last but not least, the young employies are more creative and impliment new plan and ideas for the business deals. On the other hand, senior citizens have much experience and they know how to deal with different situations and people. This is the highlighting point of giving job to older. For example, a research shows the older emplyoies are more helpfull in dealing with the coustmers. Additionally, they have more patience and have good coperative skiils. To sum up, I think both young and older people are usefull for the growth of a company, the mixture of talent and experience proves juicefull for the business.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Comapnies
play a vital role in the economy of any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they have various recruitment
Possible spelling mistake found.
systm
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
authorities believe that employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
genertion
is more effective as compared to the seniors citizens. In this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bothe
points
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching on a concrete conclusion.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are better for the more production and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
for the experience and balance between these tows is better for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucess
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, youngsters are
Use "good at" to mean "skilled" with school subjects. Try this: "good at health".
good in health
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'do' is correct. If 'do' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the do
more work and
Possible spelling mistake found.
increse
the production of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, they are more familiar with
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
new technology and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the new machines in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
effcetive
way.
For instance
, according to a survey the
Possible spelling mistake found.
compnies
which employed the more adults are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucessful
as compared to the others. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
employies
are more creative and
Possible spelling mistake found.
impliment
new plan and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
deals.
On the other hand
, senior citizens have much
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they know how to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This is the highlighting point of giving job to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyoies
are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpfull
in dealing with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
coustmers
.
Additionally
, they have more patience and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
coperative
Possible spelling mistake found.
skiils
. To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
for the growth of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, the mixture of talent and experience proves
Possible spelling mistake found.
juicefull
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.

IELTS essay Some companies think employing young people is better. Other think older people are better discuess both views and conclusion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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