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Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.14

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. 14
Although some companies endorse sports as a method of promoting their business. Some people are of the opinion that it is advantageous while others believe that there are problems associated with this. I consider that companies supporting sports, is a good way of gaining publicity. On the one hand, patronizing sports ensures popularity and more patronage in business and I agree. Many companies today are recognized because they sponsor numerous sports. To illustrate, today, Puma and Adidas have taken over numerous sports- outfit companies because of their devoted support for so many football teams all over the world. Therefore, businesses that sponsor sports are widely known and patronized. Secondly, companies gain a high level of trust from the masses when they sponsor sports. A popular energy drink which has been in existence since the 80’s became relevant to me when I saw Usian Bolt a marathon race champion advertise for them. Thus, giving me an assurance in the quality of their product. On the other hand, the problem associated with using sports to communicate about a product to people is that such adverts require huge amount money. It is only a financially balanced company that can embark on such endorsements. To clarify, Pepsi endorses only world’ best footballers for their advertisements, which would definitely cost them a fortune. As a result, such companies will be spending so much in promoting their business. In conclusion, while people vary in their opinion, I think companies stand a better chance to succeed when they support sports companies as a means of publicizing themselves. Although they tend to spend so much by choosing such method of publicity.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
endorse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a method of promoting their business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that it is advantageous while others believe that there are problems associated with this. I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of gaining publicity.

On the one hand, patronizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
ensures popularity and more patronage in business and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are recognized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they sponsor numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, Puma and Adidas have taken over numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports-
outfit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their devoted support for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun football seems to be countable; consider using: "many footballs".
many football
teams all over the world.
Therefore
, businesses that sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
widely
known and patronized.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
gain a high level of trust from the masses when they sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. A popular energy drink which has been in existence since the
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "80s".
80’s
became relevant to me when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
Possible spelling mistake found.
Usian
Bolt a marathon race champion advertise for them.
Thus
, giving me an assurance in the quality of their product.

On the other hand
, the problem associated with using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to communicate about a product to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that such adverts require huge amount money. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
financially
balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that can embark on such endorsements. To clarify, Pepsi endorses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
world’ best footballers for their advertisements, which would definitely cost them a fortune.
As a result
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will be spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much in promoting their business.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vary in their opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
stand a better chance to succeed when they support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as a means of publicizing themselves.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
they tend to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much by choosing such method of publicity.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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