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Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves.Some people think it is good

Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good 9aN5X
People have different views about how companies should introduce their product to people. While in some companies use a sport as advertising for bring forward their vintage. I personally believe that way it’s harmful for sales. In my view, there are many reasons why companies shoudn’t sponsors sport as advertise themselves. Firstly, some firms take the opportunity to introduce anything to people for sale more, in addition introduced products could be harmfull for health such as Energy drink, Cigarettes and suger products. On the other hand, sportsman performance may impact the popularity of sport. Despite above the arguments, I believe that companies need try to control their healthy product. A healthy product is much more than simply business. Furthermore, providing a quality vintage is the great way to advertise themselves. People said “Sportsman are champion and pattern for everyone's life, also they trust them and companies shouldn't use them by athletes for advertising unwholesome products”. If Athletic encourage people to buy a quality product, the companies will has been expanded. However, some firms produce poor quality material. moreover, they don’t care about health of people especially teenagers. Additionally, they encourage them to buy harmful product, for instance sugary drinks and electronic cigarettes. To conclude, I believe companies shouldn't market through sponsorship of sports as an advertisment for unhealthy product.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a sport as advertising for bring forward their vintage. I
personally
believe that way it’s harmful for sales.

In my view, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoudn
’t sponsors sport as advertise themselves.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
firms take the opportunity to introduce anything to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for sale more,
in addition
introduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
harmfull
for health such as Energy drink, Cigarettes and
Possible spelling mistake found.
suger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
On the other hand
, sportsman performance may impact the popularity of sport.

Despite above the arguments, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
need try to control their healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. A healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is much more than
simply
business.
Furthermore
, providing a quality vintage is the great way to advertise themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
said “Sportsman are champion and pattern for everyone's life,
also
they trust them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
shouldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them by athletes for advertising unwholesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products”
. If Athletic encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will has
been expanded
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
firms produce poor quality material.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, they don’t care about health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Additionally
, they encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
for instance
sugary drinks and electronic cigarettes.

To conclude
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
shouldn't market through sponsorship of sports as an
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisment
for unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.

IELTS essay Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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