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Some companies sponsor sport and sports star as a way to advertise themselves, some people think it's good and other think as downside. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

Some companies sponsor sport and sports star as a way to advertise themselves, some people think it's good and other think as downside. Gr8Jm
Sports is the field of interest for a won't range of public. So, this is a key factor for the sports companies to promote their products by sponsoring it to the sports players and teams. A fair amount of people believe that it could help the players who are undergoing financial problems as well as it could also have downside where there is a direct link between the success of the companies and the players. To embark on, sports sponsors afford their equipment to the sports team for various purposes. First of all, they could endow the equipments which the team needs. By this, the players would be free of financial problems and can focus mainly on their sport. As they donate, the companies could earn a lot of respect amongst the public. Secondly, the companies interlink with the successful players to promote their products through adversiments. So that, there would an overwhelming media exposure for the company as well. For instance, M. S. Dhoni a renowned indian cricketer is linked with the companies which offer cricket equipments such as bat, ball and stump sets. The main reason why some people think it is more disadvantageous is because some companies sell harmful products which are hazardous to health. In addition to that, tobacco companies should not be allowed to sponsor the sports events. What's more, if the sports person indulge in malicious behaviours such as drug abuse, which can in turn affect the profit of the company. Besides that, the sports fans concentrate more on the players and teams rather than the messages which are contributed by the sports companies. To conclude, eventhough the sports companies exploit sports team to advertise the advantages outweighs the disadvantages. Most of the players could be benefited with help of these sponsorships which could encourage them to move one step ahead.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
is the field of interest for a won't range of public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this is a key factor for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to promote their products by sponsoring it to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
who are undergoing financial problems
as well
as it could
also
have downside where there is a direct link between the success of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. To embark on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sponsors afford their equipment to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
for various purposes.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they could endow the equipments which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
needs. By this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
would be free of financial problems and can focus
mainly
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. As they donate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
respect amongst the public.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
interlink with the successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to promote their products through
Possible spelling mistake found.
adversiments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, there would an overwhelming media exposure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as well
.
For instance
, M. S.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhoni
a renowned
Possible spelling mistake found.
indian
cricketer
is linked
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which offer cricket equipments such as bat, ball and stump sets. The main reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more disadvantageous is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
sell harmful products which are hazardous to health.
In addition
to that, tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to sponsor the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. What's more, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person indulge in malicious
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
such as drug abuse, which can in turn affect the profit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Besides
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fans concentrate more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
rather
than the messages which
are contributed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
exploit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to advertise the advantages outweighs the disadvantages. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
could
be benefited
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these sponsorships which could encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
one step ahead.
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IELTS essay Some companies sponsor sport and sports star as a way to advertise themselves, some people think it's good and other think as downside.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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