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Many believe that wealthy countries should not provide financial aid to poorer countries. Instead, they should focus on other kinds of assistance. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give specific reasons and examples to support it.

Many believe that wealthy countries should not provide financial aid to poorer countries. Instead, they should focus on other kinds of assistance. Give specific reasons and examples to support it. MB83a
Poor countries often get a lot of assistance from developing countries of which financial assistance is one kind. While I think financial aid from developed countries has a certain contribution to the development of developing countries, I agree with the view that these countries need other kinds of assistance rather than finance only. The following paragraphs will clearly clarify my opinion. As undeveloped or developing countries really need money to develop infrastructure, transportation… In this case financial aid from richer countries can help effectively. They can use money from these funding to build power plants, roads, transportation… and many other facilities to ensure the basic conditions to develop their economies and attract investment from outside. For example, an amount of more than USD 5 billion ODA loans from Japan has been received and used in development of Vietnam’s power systems since 1999 which have greatly helped to improve Vietnam’s infrastructures a lot. However, to develop sustainably poor countries need a lot of things which are more than money. Thus, instead of only providing financial assistance, wealthy countries may take into consideration other types of assistance such as technical assistance, capacity building assistance, technology transfer assistance… For example, assistance to improve financial transparency and management capacity for the governments of less developed countries will help them better manage the funding from financial support, thereby ensuring the purpose and high efficiency of using this capital. Or another example, receiving advanced technologies which are supported and transferred by developed countries so that poor countries can approach and utilize their own resources internally for sustainable development without much dependence on financial support. In conclusion, I do agree with the view that financial assistance from developed countries have a certain role in the development of less developed countries, but it is not all. There is a famous saying “If you give a man a fish, you can feed him a day. But if you teach a man how to fish, you can feed him a lifetime”. The developed nations should pay more attention and take active interest in other kinds of assistance such as education or skills development for people in poor countries rather than financial aids.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of which
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financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
is one kind. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has a certain contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
rather
than finance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. The following paragraphs will
clearly
clarify my opinion.

As undeveloped or developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
really
need money to develop infrastructure, transportation…
In this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid from richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
effectively
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money from these funding to build power plants, roads, transportation… and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities to ensure the basic conditions to develop their economies and attract investment from outside.
For example
, an amount of more than USD 5 billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
ODA
loans from Japan has
been received
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of Vietnam’s power systems since 1999 which have
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Vietnam’s infrastructures a lot.

However
, to develop
sustainably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things which are more than money.
Thus
,
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
providing
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financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
, wealthy
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countries
may take into consideration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
such as technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
, capacity building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
, technology transfer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance…
For example
,
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assistance
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
transparency and management capacity for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them better manage the funding from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
support, thereby ensuring the purpose and high efficiency of using this capital. Or another example, receiving advanced technologies which
are supported
and transferred by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can approach and utilize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
resources
internally
for sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
without much dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
support.

In conclusion
, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a certain role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not all. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
saying “If you give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
a fish, you can feed him a day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if you teach a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
how to fish, you can feed him a lifetime”. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nations should pay more attention and take active interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
such as education or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aids.

IELTS essay Many believe that wealthy countries should not provide financial aid to poorer countries. Instead, they should focus on other kinds of assistance. Give specific reasons and examples to support it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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