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foreigners should follow local customs and behaviour, or whether the locals should accept cultural diversities. discuss both sides

foreigners should follow local customs and behaviour, or whether the locals should accept cultural diversities. discuss both sides LG8q8
There is an argument among some people on whether foreigners should follow local customs and behaviour, or whether the locals should accept cultural diversities. This essay will discuss both sides and outline my opinion. All countries have their own cultures that have been valued by their people since long time ago. People from certain countries have several traditions that make them different with other countries. For example, Japanese have to conduct certain rituals when cherry blossoms bloom, or people in India have to lock themselves in their houses in a day called “Nyepi”. There are also differences between new year celebration in America and in Korea. Besides, all countries also have different norms, regulations, and ideologies. It is acceptable for people from western countries to address older people with their name, but it is considered as impolite to people in eastern countries. I think it would be inappropriate if people from other countries do certain things that oppose local cultures or norms. However, in this globalisation era, people have to accept cultural diversity because they have to interact with people from other countries. People cannot be forced to do local activities in certain countries that are different with their own cultures, because it would be contradict with their religions or ideologies, but they have to be considerate of what the locals do. In my opinion, people who come to other countries, either as tourists or immigrants, have to value about certain things that are valued by the locals. In conclusion, the most important thing for both foreigners and locals is to value the cultural diversities. Foreigners have to tolerate the local norms and traditions without following them, while locals also have to accept that there are people who have different traditions and ideologies.
There is an argument among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on whether foreigners should follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, or whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
should accept cultural diversities. This essay will discuss both sides and outline my opinion.

All
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countries
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cultures that have
been valued
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since long time ago.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have several traditions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
with
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other
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countries
.
For example
, Japanese
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have to
conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
rituals when cherry blossoms bloom, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
lock themselves in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in a day called “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nyepi
”. There are
also
differences between new year celebration in America and in Korea.
Besides
, all
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countries
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
norms, regulations, and ideologies. It is acceptable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to address older
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people
with their name,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is considered
as impolite to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in eastern
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countries
. I
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think
it would be inappropriate if
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people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
things that oppose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
cultures or norms.

However
, in this
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
era,
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept cultural diversity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interact with
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people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
cannot
be forced
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cultures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would be
Consider using the past participle "contradicted"?
contradict
with their religions or ideologies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be considerate of what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
do. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, either as tourists or immigrants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
value about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
things that
are valued
by the locals.

In conclusion
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing for both foreigners and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
is to value the cultural diversities. Foreigners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
tolerate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
norms and traditions without following them, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
traditions and ideologies.
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IELTS essay foreigners should follow local customs and behaviour, or whether the locals should accept cultural diversities. discuss both sides

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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