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Brain drain is bad for country

Brain drain is bad for country N863d
The education industry has witnessed a drastic change due to globalization. It is very common for students from one country to study in foreign universities. Some courses in the top educational institutions are now so globalized that they comprise entirely of international students only. In my opinion, this globalization of education is a positive trend with a plethora of benefits. One major advantage of this trend is the benefit to students. As students have the choice to study in any school across the world, opportunities for educational and professional development have been increased for students. For instance, a person interested in aeronautical design now has the chance to study in colleges like Purdue University in the USA which has a highly developed program for the course. However, some time back, these kinds of opportunities were not available to students from countries like the Maldives which do not have an active aeronautics industry. Therefore, studying abroad not only allows students to learn their areas of interest but also practice and develop a career in them. On the contrary, brain drain is a significant disadvantage of students getting the opportunity to study abroad. Due to high competition, only students with the highest capabilities and resources get access to studying abroad. For example, many colleges provide admission to only 1% of the applicants that apply. Consequently, the best brains from countries that have a poor educational infrastructure move out of the country and so do not participate in the development of their home country. To summarize, in my opinion having opportunities for students to study abroad is beneficial at both individual and at society level. It enables students to study subjects of interest, leverage the best educational resources, and develop a career of choice. On a society level, there is an exchange of cultures that cultivates understanding and peace.
The education industry has witnessed a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
due to globalization. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in foreign universities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
courses in the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
globalized that they comprise
entirely
of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
. In my opinion, this globalization of education is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend with a plethora of benefits.

One major advantage of this trend is the benefit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in any school across the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
and professional development have
been increased
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, a person interested in aeronautical design
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in colleges like Purdue University in the USA which has a
highly
developed program for the course.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time back, these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
were not available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the Maldives which do not have an active aeronautics industry.
Therefore
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn their areas of interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
practice and develop a career in them.

On the contrary
, brain drain is a significant disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. Due to high competition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the highest capabilities and resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
colleges provide admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
1% of the applicants that apply.
Consequently
, the best brains from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that have a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
infrastructure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do not participate in the development of their home country.

To summarize
, in my opinion having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is beneficial at both individual and at society level. It enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
subjects of interest, leverage the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
resources, and develop a career of choice. On a society level, there is an exchange of cultures that cultivates understanding and peace.
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IELTS essay Brain drain is bad for country

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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