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Some college teachers prefer to ask students to watch or listen to a recorded lecture before class. In class, they will ask students to do more practices about what they have learned from the lecture. Do you think this is an effective way and why? v.1

Some college teachers prefer to ask students to watch or listen to a recorded lecture before class. In class, they will ask students to do more practices about what they have learned from the lecture. Do you think this is an effective way and why? v. 1
The advancement in technology has a huge impact on the Olympic games. While, some believe that machinery has minimized the importance of the Olympic games. This essay, however, disagreed with the aforementioned statement. This essay will first, discuss that the with the usage of latest equipments had sports people to deliver high level of performance and further, outline that machinery has helped in the global reach of the Olympic games. It is clear that with the practice of the latest technology and equipments used has improved the level of performance of people. This is to say, people get the opportunity to practice and train themselves with latest equipments and machineries which help them to give their best shot during the competition, thus, winning the competition. To elucidate, a recent survey conducted by The International Sports Organisation in March 2019 found that more than 80 percent of sports people are able to get the best training with the adoption of the latest techniques and equipments. As a result, this has improved the overall standard of the game and of the participants and only the best candidate gets selected and win the game. Apart from this, technology has aided with the wide reach of the Olympic Game. The development of the internet and computers has made it possible for people to enjoy the game by sitting at their home. In other words, technology has increased the popularity of The Olympic Games and many people are practicing hard to get selected in various sports and thus bring name and fame to their home country. To exemplify, a recent survey conducted by the National Sporting and Training Company found that the latest techniques such as world wide web and computers has worldwide access of The Olympic Games. To conclude, although certain people believe that technology has reduced the contribution of The Olympic games, but in my opinion, I vehemently agree that with the use of latest techniques has not only helped the players by giving them advanced training but also increased the popularity of the game.
The advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a huge impact on the Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that machinery has minimized the importance of the Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay,
however
, disagreed with the aforementioned statement. This essay will
first
, discuss that the with the usage of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to deliver high level of performance and
further
, outline that machinery has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in the global reach of the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that with the practice of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the level of performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to practice and train themselves with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to give their best shot during the competition,
thus
, winning the competition. To elucidate, a recent survey conducted by The International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
in March 2019 found that more than 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best training with the adoption of the latest techniques and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
.
As a result
, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the
overall
standard of the game and of the participants and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the best candidate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
selected and win the game.

Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has aided with the wide reach of the Olympic Game. The development of the internet and computers has made it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy the game by sitting at their home.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has increased the popularity of The Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are practicing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
selected in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
thus
bring name and fame to their home country. To exemplify, a recent survey conducted by the National Sporting and Training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
found that the latest techniques such as
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
and computers has worldwide access of The Olympic Games.

To conclude
, although certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the contribution of The Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
techniques has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the players by giving them advanced training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increased the popularity of the game.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some college teachers prefer to ask students to watch or listen to a recorded lecture before class. In class, they will ask students to do more practices about what they have learned from the lecture. Do you think this is an effective way and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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