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Some cities create extra housing by building tall buildings. Other cities do this by building on wide areas of land. Which do you think is the best solution to the problem of housing?

Some cities create extra housing by building tall buildings. Other cities do this by building on wide areas of land. Which do you think is the best solution to the problem of housing? 1prq
Dubai is considered as having tallest building in the world where people lives in apartment rather than their own house. It is argued by some individual that several town has built high rise building as a housing concept, whilst other believe that other cities has been building houses on wider areas. In my opinion the effective remedial measures to solve the issue of housing is by constructing skyscrapers. To embark on, the major benefits of constructing towering building rather than construction house on wider areas of land is that this type of building covers small areas, and this area can be utilize for the agricultural purpose, which will be helpful for the economy of the country due to the fact that these days large agricultural area is covered with houses and the nation has to depend on other countries for food. For instance, Nepal has to totally rely on India for food owing to the fact that all the agricultural land is covered with housing. Moreover, cities will have large open areas where they can plant trees, which will be helpful for the environment by reduction in the pollution as well as these area would be the and relaxing areas for the adults, and there will be large space for children, where they can enjoy sports. In addition, the roads can be made wider and it is easy for the travellers to commute form one place to place without facing traffic congestion, which is directly advantageous for the workers and students. On the other hand, constructing in large area means people are occupying wider space and this will have negative effects in cities. Firstly, narrowing down the road in the light of the fact that individual construct houses near the road for the business purpose, consequently, this will increase traffic jam and the city looks messy. As the number of houses increase large number of people migrate to city areas which may cause pollution problem such as water pollution, air pollution. For instance, Kathmandu, the capital city of Nepal is third most polluted cities in the world because of the many housing complex and these housing generate large amount of waste which impacted the environment. In conclusion, we cannot deny the fact that high rise building is more beneficial in environment point of view as well as cities will look more cleaner and well planned.
Dubai
is considered
as having
A determiner is probably missing here: "the tallest".
tallest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
in the world where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
in apartment
rather
than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individual that
Possible agreement error. The noun town seems to be countable; consider using: "several towns".
several town
has built high rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
as a housing concept, whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. In my opinion the effective remedial measures to solve the issue of housing is by constructing skyscrapers.

To embark on, the major benefits of constructing towering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
rather
than construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of land is that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
covers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
can be
Consider using the past participle "utilized"?
utilize
for the agricultural purpose, which will be helpful for the economy of the country due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is covered
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and the nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries for food.
For instance
, Nepal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
totally
rely on India for food owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that all the agricultural land
is covered
with housing.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where they can plant trees, which will be helpful for the environment by reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
as well
as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
would be the and relaxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for the adults, and there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
space for children, where they can enjoy sports.
In addition
, the roads can
be made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wider
and it is easy for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to commute form one place to place without facing traffic congestion, which is
directly
advantageous for the workers and students.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, constructing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are occupying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wider
space and this will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Firstly
, narrowing down the road in the light of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that individual construct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
near the road for the business purpose,
consequently
, this will increase traffic jam and the city looks messy. As the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate to city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which may cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
problem such as water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For instance
, Kathmandu, the capital city of Nepal is third most polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
housing complex and these housing generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount of waste which impacted the environment.

In conclusion
, we cannot deny the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that high rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is more beneficial in environment point of view
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will look
Use only "cleaner" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cleaner
and well planned.
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IELTS essay Some cities create extra housing by building tall buildings. Other cities do this by building on wide areas of land. Which do you think is the best solution to the problem of housing?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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