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Same scientist think that all computers will soon become more intelligent than human. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Same scientist think that all computers will soon become more intelligent than human. with this statement? ExE3
Not surprisingly widespread use of computers and many aspects of people' s daily live have considarable changes because of recent development in technology. Though hi- tech products were invented by human, some scientists say that computers will rapidly become more brainy than mankinds. I disagree with this view unlike others. Now I give my own opinion according to the statement. Admittedly lifestyle are changed by recent technologies in equal measure. Before computers and internet were created. Most working people had many opportunities in their work life. Some problems which related to work or job are solved quickly by computers. So mushrooming of new technologies, such as computers give works more flexibility in controlling their work and more quality results after work. Besides than they allow people to manage their own working time. They useful and effective in all branches. Despite the computer can do many tasks its memory is instability unlike people' s memory. Negetive side of computers used by humankind. It can be dangerous for people' s health. All information might be deleted when it out of order. Thus works are carried on without any computers by human. They do not give up working. In addition technological development depends on people's knowledge. They tend to develop in every sphere. So computers become smarter connected with well- educated persons. People's comprehention is increasing in order to to create new technology. To conclude, while people vary in their opinion I think that can not be smarter than human being. Although computer regarded as the greatest technology in human history, it serves for people.
Not
surprisingly
widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people'
s daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
considarable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of recent development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Though hi- tech products
were invented
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists say that computers will
rapidly
become more brainy than
Possible spelling mistake found.
mankinds
. I disagree with this view unlike others.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion according to the statement.
Admittedly
lifestyle are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in equal measure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
computers and internet
were created
. Most working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
problems which related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or job
are solved
quickly
by computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
mushrooming of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, such as computers give works more flexibility in controlling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and more quality results after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Besides
than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
working time. They useful and effective in all branches. Despite the computer can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks its memory is instability unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people'
s memory.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Negetive
side of computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by humankind. It can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people'
s health. All information might
be deleted
when it out of order.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
works
are carried
on without any computers by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. They do not give up working. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
technological development depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
knowledge. They tend to develop in every sphere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
computers become smarter connected with well- educated persons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People's
Possible spelling mistake found.
comprehention
is increasing in order
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
create new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
To conclude
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vary in their opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that can not be smarter than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being. Although computer regarded as the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
history, it serves for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.

IELTS essay Same scientist think that all computers will soon become more intelligent than human. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
262 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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